Why I’m Fat: The Naked Truth

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Well, believe it or not, I’m classed
as morbidly obese. I’ll be honest. The last time I was naked in front
of this many guys and girls, that didn’t work out well. Fat bitch. Fat C—U—N—T. I’m a whale. Pig. You’re fat. Throw her back in the ocean. Move, you fat bitch. Hey, look at the fat…
the fat bastard. I look like a bin bag full of turds. That’s always been my personal
favourite. I think, in the past,
being called names, being bullied for my weight,
yes, it did hurt at the time. I do care that people call me
fat cos you wouldn’t go up to someone in a wheelchair and say,
“Oh, you’re in a wheelchair.” If someone calls me fat… ..why…why let it bother me? Because I am. I think that if you’re
confident in your own body, then you don’t feel that those
derogatory terms that these people are using to offend you are offensive
because they’re just words. It’s more pity for them I feel,
like, if that’s what making their day is,
putting someone else down. Well, fuck, I feel bad for them. My weight is,
last time I checked, was 143kg. So I think that’s about 22st. My weight is currently
just under 20st. The last time I weighed myself,
I was about 27st. I think that would probably put us in either the obese
or morbidly obese. From a doctor’s point of view,
I’m classed as morbidly obese. That’s just, like,
a kick in the teeth. Right, you’re fat
but you’re fatter than fat. Obese has a medical term. When people or obese,
they’re a problem. I don’t think there’s anything
morbid about me. I can run, I can go up stairs. For a fat guy,
I’m still very active. I think people get this image
of he’s fat, he must just lay at home
and eat crisps. I’ll be honest, if I get a day off,
I might do that. Obviously,
being a fitness instructor, you get new people into your class
on a regular basis. You see these people walk in
and they kind of look around to figure out who the instructor is,
and then they look at you and they’re like, “Oh…” People need to understand that not
every fat person is lazy. Some are, but so are some
thin people. It’s not just down to weight. It’s down to the individual. Why has it got to be a thing? Just because I’m a big girl doesn’t
mean I can’t be active, and it doesn’t mean that you have
the right to judge me based on what I look like. You know, I’m fat, but I work hard,
I go to work every day, I pay my bills,
I take my dog for a walk. Yeah, I think there’s
a lot of misconceptions. I’ve always been on the large size,
like, Mum’s got four kids, my two brothers and sisters,
they’ve always been… ..skinny, they’ve always been
active, into active roles, like sports, dancing. They used to call me “fatty fatty
bum bum”, “who ate all the pies?”. Me and my brothers spoke about it. His excuse was he used it as a
motivation, that I’d get so sick and tired of being called “fatty bum
bum” that I’d go and lose weight. When, in reality, all that made me
do was make me think, “Well, I am fat.” Then it would get
me down and then I’d just go for the packet of crisps
or the chocolate bar. I fell pregnant at the age of 16. And my boyfriend at the time,
he left me. And I basically developed a really
unnatural relationship with food and started comfort eating. And I went up from
a size 12 to a size 28, and that was probably
in about a month-and-a-half. My body changed so drastically, I didn’t even recognise the person
I saw in the mirror. I was completely different.
I literally used to go and buy… ..like, the 24 pack
of Cadbury’s Creme Eggs, and I would eat them all in one day.
It was dangerous. And I was comfort eating
because I was…very, very low. I think I was quite shy in college
and maybe quite, like, socially a bit awkward. I think, at that age,
I probably had more walls up. I didn’t make as many friends. I would buy a lot of food and binge
because I was kind of lonely, I was on my own. That’s probably
when I put on most of my weight. Maybe I’d eat, like, a whole box
of cakes, and then I’d feel angry at myself for doing that and then
I’d be, like… Then I’d eat again. I got glandular fever when I was 17. And I was ill for eight months. And in that space of time,
I put on 7st. I know a lot of people lose weight
with glandular fever but I just used to sit there
and eat. I’m under no illusions
as to why I’m fat. I’m not going to come up
with any sort of excuse. I wasn’t very sociable as a kid. I
wasn’t very sociable until my teens. I’ve never really had a healthy
diet type of thing. I eat at the wrong times,
I don’t exercise. It’s who I am. There’s not, like,
“Oh, life was tragic so I ate.” Life was just life, and I ate and
I got fat, and these things happen. I like doughnuts. I quite
like pizza. Lasagne. Favourite food? It’s got to be lasagne, I think. This chocolate bar that’s,
like, salted. A big bag of crisps. A big bar of chocolate. A whole cake. Nuggets. But you can’t get six,
you’ve got to get 20. Because there’s no point when
it’s, like, an extra £2. The serving suggestion of
six people… Six people? No. Just me. I just like food.
That is what makes me happy. If I feel sad, I will eat, but… ..doesn’t everyone? It could just be a simple case
of I’ve had a really bad day. Then, to make myself better,
I’ll have some food. For that short five minutes
when you are eating, it felt good. But then, afterwards,
you kind of think… “I probably shouldn’t have
eaten that.” You just have that moment where you
want it, you need it. And then, after that,
you just don’t think about it until it happens again. I’ve been on Weight Watchers,
I’ve been to Slimming World, I’ve had diet pills,
I’ve starved myself, I’ve binged, I’ve tried to throw up food. You know, I’ve had a really
unhealthy relationship with dieting. Now I’m trying to do it so that
I have one lunchbox and what’s in that lunchbox, that is
what you’ve got all day, so that’ll be, like, a yoghurt,
a couple of sandwiches, a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar
and a small cake. And then, once that’s gone,
that is gone. So I’m trying to limit what
I’ve got. I’ve tried to diet. Many people have dieted.
It doesn’t work. You hear stories of people
losing a lot of weight, putting it all back up.
Because I think restricting yourself and denying yourself things makes
you then feel worse about yourself. You know, then you lead to kind of
bingeing and more over-eating. Sometimes, I’ll go
out into a nightclub or I’ll go to the theatre,
and I’ll see people looking. I’m thinking, “Are they looking at
me cos I’m fat?” When I get on a train
and I’m sat down or I’m sitting next
to somebody, and I sit down, and there’s ample space for two people
to sit on a seat, you often get… SHE SIGHS DRAMATICALLY I do take more of a bus seat up than
a normal-sized person would. In my head, my conscience goes… “There’d be more room on this bus
if he weren’t so fat!” It’s just unnecessary. I don’t huff at you because you’re
there picking your nose on the train, so how about
you don’t huff at me because I’m slightly overweight? If you let that kind of thing
niggle away at your inner conscience, you’re going
to create low self-esteem. And I’m not about that game. I was in a lift on Saturday. A lady of around 50
and her mother got into the lift. The lift was an eight-person lift,
and the older woman said, “We wouldn’t fit eight people
in here, would we?” And I said, “Oh, gosh, no.” I said,
“We might fit eight of you, love, “but we’re not going to fit
eight of me in here, are we?” You know, the whole body and
the all of your experiences all kind of lead you up
to where you are today, and then,
if you could change yourself, then all of that history
isn’t present in your body. If I wasn’t fat,
maybe I’d be a different person, maybe I wouldn’t have developed
the personality of…I had to make people laugh to get them to like me. So maybe if I wasn’t fat,
I wouldn’t be a comedian. I’d just be working a 9 to 5. I do bits of plus-size modelling. I do beauty pageants. But I’m also founder and creative
director of a clothing brand specifically for plus sizes
16 to 32. I’m a professional photographer.
I don’t normally say that out loud. At the moment, I’m working on a
personal project which is called Behind The Scars. I love going to drag shows. Drag, for me,
is the best happiness I ever have. I won my first pageant in 2015. I was crowned
Miss British Beauty Curve. I’m not saying I’m proud to be fat. All that I’m here for is to sit here and say you live your life
how you want to live it. I think we all have an ideal body. And this isn’t my ideal body
but it’s my body. Do I wish
I looked like Jake Gyllenhaal? Yes, but everyone
except Jake Gyllenhaal does. You asked Jake Gyllenhaal
and he’ll probably say, “Yeah, “I want to look like Jed Salisbury.” Probably not, though.
I don’t think he knows me. I do think that there are a lot
of people who have negative opinions about body size. I don’t think that will ever change
but what can change is us trying to change people’s attitudes
towards bodies, understanding that every body is beautiful,
regardless of its shape or size. We are all inhabiting a body, and
we all have to live with that body so why are we judging
each other’s bodies? Why can’t we just be
happy for each other?

100 comments

  1. Can't everyone just accept everyone for who they are? Can we no just accept fat people, skinny people, anorexic people, pedofiles, fat shamers, drug addicts…etc?

  2. Being unhealthy isn't beautiful, it's dangerous and that mentality shouldn't change. You shouldn't be bullied but encouraged to make healthier life choices and get counselling if you comfort eat.

  3. lack of self discipline is the bottom line here, Iv no sympathy for obese people, 99.9 percent of the time they simply indulge themselves to become what they are. let them kill themselves, its all about choice.

  4. Almost everyone likes food. But food should be used primarily to nourish. They need to deal with the reasons why they emotionally overeat.

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  6. The guy with the longer hair said this in regards to people who say mean things, "If that's what's making their day to put someone down, then f***, I feel bad for them." A lot of people can benefit from that attitude. Especially in the comments of youtube (lots of mean people).

  7. Personally, I think being heavy or over weight isn’t a problem. When your organs and insides still function correctly. And when you’re able to walk still. If your weight makes you immobilized, that’s really bad.

  8. It's ok i will always love you guys in wahtever size or body or being same do heaven and god. but try to do this have hope and faith and try pray . and stand raise up and take aay all dust on your shoulders like swip swip and like that have already happend it's about the future beacuse that is what counts in gods eyes that does a lot of job .<3 good job

  9. I don’t think it’s fair that these people compare themselves to people in wheelchairs. Being fat is not a disability. If you can easily get up and easily get up the stairs (which they said they could themselves), do some exercise. Sorry for the rant but the fact that they class themselves as disabled people really triggered me.

  10. 0:41 I didn’t even know arses came in that shape for women. Just a comment. Clearly she is perfectly fine and beautiful in her own uniq way and I am sure a lovely person.

  11. I think all of em are beautiful but i also think they need to lose weight for health reasond and to move around better

  12. "I can run"

    Don't lie lady. You're basically skirting the issue to make yourself feel better. These people need real help and I wish them the best

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