We Play a BREAKFAST CEREAL RPG (w/ Brennan Lee Mulligan)

Posted by


(ominous music)
– The children hunger,
and they must be fed.
You won’t send them to
school with an empty belly.
To do such would be to
forsake their education.
They would waste away in the classroom
with no nutrients or oats.
And such, we must feed them.
With what?
They refuse to eat the toast,
so we must turn to breakfast cereals,
which is what we are today.
(playful music)
Yes.
– Great.
– Still don’t know how to do.
– Hey, everybody, welcome to TablePop,
Dorkly’s RPG show where
we take pop culture ideas
and try to, for better or worse, turn them
into tabletop role-playing games.
Today, we are attempting to
do breakfast cereal mascots,
and I already expect
this to be a disaster.
I am your host and
gamemaster, Brian Miller,
and with me as always is my good buddy,
Eli Yudin.
– Hello, everyone.
– Across the table in a
absolute nightmare form,
just like a “Dark Souls”
monster is kinda the vibe
I’m getting from,
especially with that look
you’re giving me right
now, it’s Carolyn Page!
– We are Carolyn.
We will take you
– No!
to the Carolyn Zone!
– [Brian] I hate it so much!
– Our guest this week,
so excited to have him,
you know him from “Dimension
20,” College Humor,
it’s Brennan Lee Mulligan!
Hello!
– What’s going on, man?
– Yay, I’m so excited to be here!
– Thank you so much for coming
to our weird little basement.
– I love your weird little basement.
It’s so fun.
– On “Dimension 20,”
you guys have all those
cool miniatures and sets
and incredible performers.
Uh, you got us here.
And a hat that I’m going
– (laughs)
to hit Eli with
– We have cereal!
– at least three times.
You’re gonna hit me a
lot with it, it’s fine.
It’s your right as captain.
– That’s right, as Captain Crunch.
I always wondered if
Captain Crunch was a member
of a formal, military navy.
He has epaulets, he has–
– [Eli] He’s in the dress blues.
– Yeah.
– [Carolyn] He’s killed a man, for sure.
– He’s fired, you know, with the cannons.
He didn’t have to look ’em in the eye.
That’s how he gets through the day.
– 100%, he’s the real deal.
Guys, I’m so excited to be here.
I cannot wait.
– I’m very curious to what’s gonna happen.
– Go.
– We should introduce
everybody’s characters.
– Yes.
– Eli, who are you?
– Uh, what’s up, fam?
I am Crazy Craving, from
the Honeycomb commercials
for a brief time.
And then they decided
he was too unsettling,
And I think they removed him.
– [Carolyn] They were right.
– Yeah.
– But if you were
wondering, you ever watched
those Honeycomb commercials,
he does have a real name.
It’s Crazy Craving.
When I brought him up to my coworker,
she referred to him as
“Oh, the little man.”
Which I did also enjoy.
I was like, “You remember
the Honeycomb mascot?”
It’s like, “The little man?”
I was like, “Uh, it
wasn’t a detective novel,
“so I don’t know.”
But yeah, it’s Crazy Craving, that’s me.
Me want Honeycomb!
– [Brian] And I believe
that is just all of your–
– Yeah, do we want to read our–
– [Brian] Yeah, what are you working with?
– My stat sheet: first, I
have a four in Honeycomb.
I have a four in Me Want Honeycomb!
And I have a two in Honeycomb!
Honeycomb! Honeycomb!
– [All] (laughing)
– Really diverse ability set, there.
– Would you like me to describe
my character’s motivation?
It’s that I would like Honeycomb.
I want Honeycomb.
– I think that’s really
in-depth and thought out.
Uh, Brennan, I cannot guess
who you could possibly be.
– I know, what breakfast
cereal mascot could I be?
Well, I know there are so many tigers
in the breakfast cereal world,
but you’ll notice by the key red bandana
that I’m actually
Tony the Tiger from Frosted Flakes.
I’ll be playing Tony the Tiger.
I would say one of the more solid, stable,
and let’s just be honest,
physically attractive
– breakfast cereal mascots.
– Absolutely.
Oh, for sure.
– Let’s be clear.
– That tiger can fucking get it.
– [Carolyn] Yeah, yeah.
– My abilities here are listed,
I have four in Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger!
I have three in 90s Slam Dunk Champion.
– [Eli] You fell off
your game in the Aughts.
– [Brian] Yeah, there were a
lot of basketball-themed ones.
– There was a huge moment for cartoons
playing basketball in the 90s.
– [Carolyn] That’s true,
yeah, there really was.
– And it really dipped
going into the 2000s.
I have two in Animated Character
in a Live Action World.
Also a big element of the 90s.
And then I have one in That
Furry Thing on Twitter.
Which I suppose is referring
to the furry community.
– There was a lot of attention
towards Tony the Tiger
that maybe the Frosted Flakes Twitter
did not appreciate.
– Right, I understand that.
Well, I guess what I would say to,
and I’m not sure whether it’s Kellogg’s
or what company owns Frosted Flakes,
I haven’t looked into
the corporate backstory,
but I would just say to the
executives watching this,
make your tiger less fuckable,
and it won’t be a problem.
– (laughing)
– Yeah, and quit kink-shaming people.
– That’s the one takeaway from this.
– Yeah, just give him
some really bad opinions.
– (laughs) You wanna
Milkshake Duck Tony the Tiger
so that nobody likes him anymore?
– “You know what else is grrrrrreat?”
I’m not gonna finish that.
– [All] (laughing)
– Oh, God, let’s move on to–
– Do you really want to?
– No, I don’t. Nope!
We did all of ’em.
– “We are Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
“We are elf brothers.
“We will feed you cereal.
“Come along, children.
“Come, revel in our milky bowls.”
So we have, my powers are, I got–
– [Eli] You’re using
the royal “we” all game.
– “We are milk brothers.
We are 3 Elf Brothers.
We’ve got a four in that.
We’ve got a three in
They Talk, which is true.
They all fucking talk.
– [Brian] The Rice Krispies
themselves also talk.
– Oh.
– [Brian] That was more of
what I was going for there.
– Well, they make a sound.
– [Brian] I was really digging deep
for stuff to make for
Snap, Crackle, and Pop, man.
– Fair enough.
– [Brian] Not a real deep lore.
– [Brennan] But they do say your names.
You have three names, and
they’re all onomatopoeia, right?
– ♪ Snap, Crackle, and Pop! ♪
Is Snap, Snap?
Is that an onomatopoeia? I guess.
– [Brennan] Yeah, snap (snaps fingers).
– [Brian] It’s always arbitrary.
– Snap.
– [Eli] They’re all three onomatopoeias.
– “And” is not.
– “Blam” is onomatopoeia too,
but I’ve never heard
something actually go “blam.”
– Blam! (imitates mechanical noise)
– That’s the Rice Krispies sound.
“Ka ka ka ka ka ka ka!”
– Ka ka ka ka ka ka!
– Uh, Carolyn, what else you got?
– We got for two, We Don’t Talk About Pow,
which was a short-lived
fourth member of our team.
“Pow” stood for “Power,”
and that was supposed
to advertise the nutritional
value of Rice Krispies,
which I can imagine is nil.
– Very low.
– Not much, not fucking much.
It’s not part of a Goddamn
complete breakfast.
You know what a complete breakfast is?
An orange and an egg, but
that doesn’t sound good.
Okay, world?
Okay, then I got a one for
Former Superheroes, which–
– [Brian] That was another 90s thing,
a very short, once
again, really digging for
Snap, Crackle, and Pop lore.
– I didn’t,
we were, I would say our
real powers are (kisses).
– Oh, no, no no no no no no no.
– We love each other.
– Getting strong vibes
of the last kid left
at the orphanage that no
one wants to acknowledge.
Like, “We have one!”
And you’re just in the
corner with two heads.
And you’re like, “We’re
gonna let that one stew.”
– “I’ll go home with you!
“Take me home!”
– Okay, guys, so I want to take a moment
to try and figure out our little
breakfast cereal world here together.
We are an elite unit of
breakfast cereal mascots.
– Fuck yes.
– A sort of shared
universe, and it’s your job
as this elite force to go to homes
that have boring
breakfasts and spice ’em up
with great, sugary cereals that are
part of a balanced breakfast.
Yes.
– Fuck those kids’ teeth up.
Yes.
– “Stop eating an egg, kid.”
– “No more eggs, no more oranges.”
– “We’re gonna kill you,
get you hooked on sugar!”
(laughs) Right?
Yeah, that’s it.
– Okay, cool.
Oh, I hate the heads.
I hate them so much.
– I’ll put them down.
They’re heavy to hold.
They’re not comfortable to hold.
– So, we’ll get into the
details of it in a moment,
but we’re about to embark
on a suicide mission,
the toughest mission that’s
ever been embarked upon.
Tony the Tiger, you got
placed on this unit recently.
What happened to your former unit
that got you placed here,
or maybe on your last job,
some variation of that?
– I think that Tony the Tiger
was deep behind enemy lines
with Toucan Sam,
and Toucan Sam had developed
an intense addiction
to some kind of sugar matter.
He had followed his nose wherever it went,
and had followed it deep into a habit
that made him a liability to the mission,
and Tony had to take
matters into his own hands.
– [Brian] Oh, no!
– “To preserve the
integrity of the mission.
Toucan Sam is not with us anymore,
and so Tony couldn’t be punished for doing
what had to be done, but had to absolutely
be moved into a new outfit.
So he’s working with you guys.
“Just know that I’ll do
“whatever it takes to get the job done.”
– “Sanction me, I dare you.”
– [All] (laughing)
– I also love the idea of Toucan Sam
as a stealth operative.
I just imagine over and over,
them hiding and being like,
“Your beak, your beak is out!”
– That, I want to bring us
to Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
Another, a unit in of themselves,
another one with possibly a dark history.
You had a fourth brother named Pow
who is gone now.
– [Carolyn] We fucked him to death.
– [Eli and Brennan] (laughing)
– Cool. Great.
– Does that answer your
fucking question, Brian?
– It does!
– “We fucked him to death.”
– [Eli] You wanna keep digging,
or do you wanna put the
fucking shovel down?
– I think I’m good, I think I’m just
gonna leave that right there.
– You ever heard of a
flaming Eiffel Tower?
Well, now you have.
– I’m thinking of the
most insensitive thing,
which is that “POW” shirt,
like the “POW/MIA,” but it’s “Pow”
from Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
Don’t make or sell that.
– [All] (laughing)
– So, I think we’ll just move on!
I think we’ll just leave
that one where it is.
Which brings us to Mr. Crazy Craving.
– Oh, it’s not Mister.
– “Mr. Crazy Craving was my father.”
– Call me a fucking nightmare.
– I think you know your whole deal.
– Yeah, so if you’ve, I
say it like it’s a series.
If you’ve seen the Crazy
Craving commercials,
you know that the Crazy Craving is,
he is not like one thing that exists,
but when a child or an
adult, occasionally,
at one point, one of the guards in London
with the big hat turns into Crazy Craving,
and it’s a Crazy Craving
with an English accent,
which is very fun.
When they want Honeycomb,
they turn into Crazy Craving.
So I imagine Crazy Craving as some sort
of old, forgotten god.
– He’s like the Phoenix Force.
– That to want Honeycomb
opens you up to be possessed
by Crazy Craving, which is something
that can happen to you.
He takes you over, sort of like
a Paimon situation in “Hereditary.”
So I’m an ancient god.
– Your current host body, is it just
some child who wanted Honeycomb
and then never came home?
– I was trying to think.
I guess if I was truly the original god,
I would not be in the Army.
You know, I think actually it’s probably
an experiment by the Army.
Like a super soldier.
– So you’re the recreated.
– They show you Honeycomb until they can
trigger a state of constant Crazy Craving.
– Wow, that’s some real
Indiana Jones shit right there.
– So I’m a super soldier,
and I’ll never see
my wife and kids again, because
they won’t recognize me.
– I’m so glad to see
the Simpsons eyes back
and to not be wearing them,
and then to see them on you.
Because it looks like
you’re making eye contact right with me.
Looking right at me.
I feel seen.
– Yeah, it was also,
they get more shine now,
because I don’t have pieces
of flesh glued to my head
like you did for Homer.
– That’s true, that’s true.
– This is when I see
Honeycomb to the right,
and then to the left.
– The problem is that
anyone talking this calmly
with their eyes like that looks
like they’re lying all the time,
because your eyes are so wide.
– I don’t know what
happened to the cookie jar.
“Someone stole your Honeycomb?”
– All right, gang, let’s get into it.
Want everyone to–
– We are back.
– No, oh, there they are.
– Okay.
– I want everyone to picture a beautiful,
idyllic suburban morning.
We got birds chirping,
we got a sun rising
over the hills.
– Done.
We got houses with white picket fences
and fresh coats of paint, hedges,
sprinklers beginning to fire up,
a paperboy going by throwing
newspapers onto stoops.
A door opens up and a rad-ass kid
on a skateboard with a Pop Tart hanging
out of his mouth puts on his sunglasses
and grinds down a curb heading to school.
We can see into windows.
– I have to be held back
when I see the Pop Tart,
our natural enemy is the Pop Tart.
– That makes sense.
– “Calm down, Crazy.
“Not yet.”
– So we can see into various windows
as we move through the neighborhood.
We can see a mom pouring OJ from a pitcher
into glasses at the table.
We can see dads in ties
opening up a newspaper.
Until, finally, at the
edge of the cul-de-sac,
we hit a house where just
the most boring, drab scene
could possibly be taking place.
A family is beginning to sit down to
a bowl of the most
boring, flat bran flakes
just sitting soggy in some milk.
Looming up above, beginning
to eclipse the sun,
is this massive airship.
Think naval ship held
aloft by a giant blimp.
Some real “Final Fantasy” shit.
– Yeah, it’s still piloted by
someone named Cid, for sure.
Cid Craving, my uncle.
– And we cut to–
Another taken from the program?
– Yeah, yeah.
And we cut to like a conference, war room,
where your elite squad are
receiving their mission orders.
Captain Crunch stands
in front of a projector.
He’s in a, looks a lot like this, hello.
He’s got his hat, his mustache,
and he’s pointing towards
a projection of the house.
He’s proceeding to explain that
“this is the most dangerous mission
“anyone has ever attempted.
“Our previous attempts,”
he hits the slide going
over to the next thing,
and it shows the Cookie Crisp bandits,
who have been
excommunicated, or disavowed,
you see stamped in red.
– Dishonorably discharged.
– Dishonorably discharged.
He was like, “Previous
attempts have failed,
“and unfortunately, if
anything goes wrong,
“we’re not coming for you.
“We have to save Billy and Sally.”
Cuts over to another slide of these
two pretty standard-issue
90s breakfast cereal children.
Blonde hair, bowl cuts, both of them.
They’re twins, they’re twins now
who both have bowl cuts.
– [Carolyn] Ew, creepy.
– “They’ve given the
daughter a bowl cut as well!”
– (laughs) Did you just call
twins “creepy,” holding that?
– Hm, no?
Yes.
– All right.
– “Is that a triplet thing?”
– “We used to be quadruplets.”
– “Oh, boy!”
– “Me want Honeycomb?”
– [Carolyn] Are you like Groot?
– Yeah, a lot.
– And that’s all you can say?
– A lot like Groot.
– “Well, Captain, I think that
five of us working together
“should be able to take care
of this breakfast in no time.
“There’s nothing more important
“than making sure kids get a
healthy, balanced breakfast.”
– The Captain just sort of nods gravely.
“I hope to God you’re right!”
– “We will make the
children eat our bits.”
– “They’ll eat our bits, Captain!”
– I feel like my vibe is the guy
who’s just stripping and
putting his gun back together a lot.
– [Carolyn] Yeah.
– Constantly cleaning
my weapons and stuff.
Knife.
– So the Captain heads over to a console
in the corner of the room
with a big, red button.
He’s like, “Gentlemen, good luck.”
And he hits the big, red
button, going “Crunchitize!”
As you guys break up into little pieces
of Captain Crunch.
– [All] (screaming)
– You know, some people theorize
that every time you’re crunchitized,
you actually die, and it’s a new you
being made the crunch technology!
I’ve died thousands of times.
– I go, “Me want Honeycomb!”
Which does mean “Ah, like the
theory of Abe Lincoln’s ax.”
– [All] (laughing)
– Or George Washington’s ax.
Abe Lincoln was the
guy who got shot, yeah.
Got those mixed up.
– [Carolyn] You’re not wrong.
– That is correct.
Presidents TablePop!
– Boo.
How about Founding Mothers
TablePop, am I right?
– [All] Whoo!
– Abigail Adams, Betsy Ross.
– I think we’re doing it, yeah.
And that’s the two of them.
– Molly Pitcher.
– Martha.
– Betsy Ross?
– She was the flag-maker.
– So the Captain Crunch
bits all reassemble.
Just outside of this two-story
home that we saw before,
with the family in the
kitchen, bland cereal,
I’m picturing you guys
maybe re-crunchitizing
behind a tree?
– We probably vomit, right?
– Oh, definitely.
– Immediately, just get it out?
– [All] (imitating vomiting)
– Rainbows.
We vomit up Lucky Charms marshmallows.
– (die clattering) Let’s see.
So, you actually are not, Craving,
you are not feeling well after the–
– I am never feeling well, I would say.
Yeah, it’s something like (growling).
That’s my impression of the Honeycomb guy.
– You are about to hurl.
Do you do anything to try to keep it down,
or do you just own it?
– No, no, no, no, no.
Not even close.
I just throw my arms out like a star pose,
like (imitates vomiting),
and just throw up on the ground.
– [Carolyn] Oh, my God.
– I promise not to punch anyone.
– So, as we look at this house, we see
the cliche doghouse just by the side
with a bone nameplate on the top of it,
of like “Scruffy.”
And sitting in this doghouse is
this massive, monster bulldog,
just slobbering and
growling in its snores.
And that is gonna be
probably your first issue
trying to get into this house.
– [Carolyn] “We must kill the dog.”
– Just for atmosphere, I imagine
there’s about 45 baseballs
from pickup games
around the doghouse.
– [Carolyn] Awww.
– It’s like The Sandlot.
So we’re gonna kill the dog?
– [All] (laughing)
– No, the dog can live.
– As you guys are looking over,
maybe scoping out the
house, getting an idea
of points of entry, the dog awakens.
Who does it see behind the tree?
I think it probably sees one of the–
– “Huh?”
– And it snarls awake, and is now clearly
searching out for what the hell
that noise could’ve just been.
What do you guys do?
– “Comrades, we cannot be silent.
“We are Snap, Crackle, Pop.
“Our snapping and crackling and popping
“has awoken the beast.
“We must distract it.
“Then, once we gain entry,
“we must also distract the parents.
“Perhaps we could find a way to do both.
“Let us give the dog the shits,
“so the parents have to clean it up.”
– “Well, I know if you put enough milk
“inside a dog, it’s gonna get very sick!”
– [All] (laughing)
– “Excellent, I can obtain milk easily.”
– Despite this, I’m just
looking at my superior officer
and pull out my large Bowie knife,
and I’m like, “Honeycomb?”
– [All] (laughing)
– “Now, now, Crazy
Craving, we’ll have time
“to knife the dog later!
“Besides, if we get too
much blood on the yard,
“Child Protective Services will come
“and take Billy and Sally away,
“and then they won’t
have any cereal at all.”
– “Uh, me want Honeycomb.”
– “Why don’t I go keep the dog distracted?
“And while I’m doing that,
you get your milk ready
“and blast it down that canine’s throat
“until he’s full up like
a tick on a deer’s back.”
– “Excellent.”
So, something you may not know
about Snap, Crackle, and Pop is they have
six back-nipples on their backs.
And they–
– [Eli] For the milk sacs.
– And they have a back full of milk sacs.
That’s why you never see them
without a shirt, canonically.
So I’m gonna do that.
I’m gonna milk my brothers,
and then I’m gonna put that milk,
I’m gonna blast that–
I’ma blast that dog throat.
– I imagine you guys
in kind of a circle, like
a human centipede almost?
– Exactly.
– [Eli] I’ll collect the milk.
– Okay, great.
– While Snap, Crackle, and
Pop are milking themselves
from their back, I’m gonna go ahead
and approach the dog.
Can I make a Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger check?
– [Brian] I would, yeah.
What would you like to do?
– I’m gonna approach the
dog, and I’m going to say,
“Now hold on, there, Fido.
“From one predator to another, let’s talk.
“Look at your diminished form.
“You were a wolf once, and now
“your muzzle has shortened
and you can barely breathe.
“These bipedal creatures have turned you
“into a trophy to their own madness!
“You are nothing more than
one of their horrid jokes.
“Don’t you wish to run free in the tundra,
“and be what you were always meant to be?
“Or do you wish to be
sad and pathetic forever?
“If I was like you, I’d take my own life!”
– (laughs) So the dog
is sort of slobbering,
(growling) as you come into its eye-line.
And its eyes go wide as you say this,
and I’m gonna go ahead and,
go ahead and make your
Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger roll.
I’m gonna have you beat a 15.
– 15, ooh.
All right, let’s see here.
So that’s, I need to roll 3.5, seven, 14,
I need to roll slightly better
than average if I do that.
You know what, I’ll take the chance.
– It’s amazing watching you work,
I just have to say that.
– [All] (laughing)
It’s a real honor.
– 15 mean you gotta roll
better than 14.
– That’s right, that’s how we
do things here at TablePop.
– And 14 would be the dead average of 4d6,
so there you go.
I was just thinking
the same thing.
– Now you’re just showing off.
– I’m saying!
Here we go.
(dice clatter)
– Oh, you can roll in
the Andrew Dice Tray.
– [Brennan] Oh, in the Andrew Dice Tray!
– [Carolyn] Oh, you fucking nailed it.
– Okay, that’s gonna be a 20.
– Hell, yeah.
Okay, so, great.
So, the dog–
– Andrew Dice Tray!?
– [Carolyn] Yes!
– [Brian] That’s its name!
– [Brennan] That was a sleeper.
That had to burrow its way in.
– Uh, that’s its name, please respect it.
So the dog is about to lunge at you,
but as you say, as you get,
it really has to (doglike grunts).
Really thinking that over for a second.
– I’m gonna, as I get to it, I’m gonna
put my big claw under its chin
and make it look up at me, and just go,
“Look at me.
“I am part of God’s order.
“Evolution made me what I am.
“You are an abomination.”
– [Carolyn] Just gonna bully
this dog into submission.
Wait, I’m sorry–
– Well, and less disturbing,
over where we are,
you’re milking your brothers,
– Yeah.
and I’m assuming we’ve dropped in
without any sort of containers,
so I’m gonna go ahead,
if you can milk your
brothers into my mouth,
I’ll hold it there and give it to the dog
in a little bit.
– Yeah, that sounds great, okay.
So you wanna suck my brothers off,
and then get their milk in your mouth,
and then go spit it at this dog?
– If you milk your brothers into my mouth,
this’ll be good to give it to the dog.
– Amazing, outstanding.
– What do…
What would you like to
roll to see how much milk
we can collect?
– You put this unit together.
You knew what was gonna happen.
– I really should’ve expected that we’d
be milking the Rice Krispies’
Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
– I am so sorry and have
no regrets simultaneously.
– Yeah, I don’t blame you.
– I would like to roll 3 Elf Brothers.
That seems appropriate for this.
– [Brian] Makes a lot of sense.
– Also, as I make this roll,
I just want us all to
think about the sizes,
because Snap, Crackle,
and Pop are like yea big.
Tony the Tiger is like seven feet tall.
– A full-size tiger!
– And Crazy Craving is, like–
– I change size all the time.
– Okay, okay, cool.
Sort of a–
– I’m constantly–
– I’m gonna put these down.
– “Crazy Craving is pure chaos,
“an ancient god of a mad world!”
So I’m gonna roll–
– [Brian] Currently sucking off elves,
or sucking elves’ nipples for milk.
– 3 Elf Brothers, what
would you like me to roll?
– [Brian] Let’s see, I
think this is gonna be a 10
to get a sufficient
amount of brother milk.
– Gross.
– [Eli] That’s my wrestling
name, Brother Milk.
– [Carolyn] Yeah, baby!
– [Brian] All right, we
are more than good there.
– 13.
How do we get the sufficient
amount of brother milk
into Crazy Craving’s mouth?
I think I’m–
– I think like siphoning gas.
I suck it out of my brothers,
and then I baby-bird it into you.
– They’re in a circle, so
they can all milk each other,
and then I’m laying on the ground
in the middle with my mouth open,
like I’m a teenager
thinking about the stars,
and then they just kind
of collect it in my mouth,
and then I can hold it in there.
– I am so nauseous.
– I think when I see that Crazy Craving
is full up to bursting,
I’m just gonna say,
“Now, listen here!
“The best thing you could possibly do
“would be to sit here and accept your fate
“as your masters have
so willfully not done.
“Open your mouth and let
this god of ancient chaos
“spit this brother-titty-milk
into your mouth!”
– Just hesitantly opens its mouth.
– “That’s right, we are
the apex creatures!”
– So then I fly up into the air,
’cause you can just fly
sometimes, it seems.
And then it’s sort of like, I wish I
had some water to go
like, “Me want Honeycomb!”
And then I cartoon smash my cheeks
and fire a jet of sickly-sour milk
straight down, he doesn’t
even have to activate,
it’s just like a sniper
shot right into the stomach.
– Great.
What would you like to roll for that?
– I would like to roll Me Want Honeycomb.
(die clatters)
I’m always gonna, they’re all,
it’s two stats that are worth the same,
and then one that is inexplicably
worth half of that, that
I guess I would never use.
– [Brian] So, because Tony the Tiger
has sufficiently really
mentally damaged this dog,
and has sufficiently distracted,
this is only gonna be a five.
– The damage was already done.
Only a five?
– Uh, yeah.
– Oh, my God, there’s
gonna be so much milk.
– I got a, uh–
– [Brennan] 15.
– There we go.
Thank you for the assist.
– God.
– All of us bad at math,
so this is gonna be–
– Anyone need a BFA in graphic design?
– [Carolyn] Hey-oh!
– No?
– So I’m just gonna let you take over.
What happens to this dog?
– Well, first, you know when you fill up,
like if anybody has like a S’well bottle,
and that sound you hear
when it gets near the top?
You hear that from the dog.
It’s like (rising whoop).
And then, so I fill up the dog,
and what am I deciding right now?
– Just the fate of this animal.
– I think it just gets awfully sick.
I don’t wanna do anything
that bad to a dog.
I’m not a screenwriter trying
to prove that I’m edgy.
– [All] (laughing)
– So the dog is proceeding to,
I believe we were going for,
we were aiming for
terrible diarrhea, correct?
– [Eli] Yeah.
Okay.
– Yeah.
– So the dog is just whining and shitting
and whining and shitting
from all the brother milk.
– [Carolyn] I can relate.
Not from the brother milk.
– I’m dancing.
– Making these loud noises.
And it’s enough, as we
cut to in the kitchen,
this family, what’s their last name?
What’s the most boring
breakfast cereal last name?
That isn’t Smith.
– The Millers?
– It’s the Millers.
– I was gonna say Garlic,
but I don’t even know why.
– Garlic?
Let’s go with that.
– Billy Garlic!
– Billy and Sally Garlic.
– It’s the Miller-Garlics.
And Mr. Miller-Garlic
gets up from the table.
He’s like, “What the hell is that noise?”
– [Carolyn] Oh, your last name is Miller.
It is.
– I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to insult
– It’s fine.
your name.
I like the name Miller, it’s cool.
– [Brian] Yeah, no, it’s fine.
– “What is that diarrhea
noise coming from outside?”
– So the dad steps out of the table,
“What the fuck is–“
He peeks back past the curtain.
What do you guys do?
You could potentially
get found out right here.
– Um.
– I think I’m sort of panicking
and looking to Tony, my superior officer.
It’s like this is not really,
I’m kind of something that,
I am a liability whenever shit
is not actively going down.
– I think I wanna use
my Animated Character
in a Live Action World skill.
– [Brian] Okay.
– To make my presence,
I’m just going to react
so normally, like “This is normal!
“It’s normal that we’re here.”
So I’d like to use my Animated Character
in a Live Action world skill.
Yeah, and I might,
how bad is it if he spots us here?
– I’m not sure.
We’ll have to kind of
figure it out as we go.
Definitely it could cause a panic.
– ‘Cause sometimes, the parents are like,
“Oh, Tony the Tiger, you’re here again?”
And sometimes they’re
like, “Aaah, oh, my God!
“I’m losing my mind!”
– [Brian] Right.
– So, I’ll use Animated Character
in a Live Action World.
– So, great, so you
have two dice for that.
– I have two dice.
– This is gonna be a 10, I think,
to maybe just have them be like,
“Yeah, cool, this is normal.”
Does anyone want to help
with that in any way?
– I’d like to help with
Former Superheroes roll,
and presumably as
mascots, one of the powers
is sort of a mind-controlly thing,
so I’d like to just send accepting energy
that the parents can, you
know, use my mind rays.
– Okay, I’m gonna have you make
your superhero roll real
fast, and if it’s a six,
you can add it to Tony’s roll.
– Okay, great.
Fuck.
– [Brian] It’s not, but–
– I’d love to throw my
talents into the ring here.
If possible, I’d like to…
Sorry, cough up a little
bit of milk onto the ground,
probably got caught in my throat,
and then just smile really big
and give an okay sign to the parents.
– [Brian] Yeah, which cliche
would you like to use for that?
– I’m gonna go ahead and
use Me Want Honeycomb!
– Okay, yeah, that makes sense to me.
So go ahead and roll your four dice,
and you can add any sixes.
– [Eli] I was not a help to you.
– [Carolyn] You’re on your own, Tony.
– All right, Tony, you’re on your own.
You need a 10.
– All right.
I think I’m not gonna
add a Lucky Shot to this,
because I think part of Tony,
I’m realizing them as we’re playing,
because Craving is so insane,
literally a spirit of chaos,
and these guys are such fucking deviants,
and I’m trying to, like, how does Tony
match with these guys?
And I think, Tony, I’m just modeling
off of the judge from Cormac
McCarthy’s “Blood Meridian.”
That he’s just this weird, evil sage,
you know what I mean?
Just like, “War is man’s
oldest profession!”
So I think he’s not
gonna try hard to avoid
if chaos breaks loose.
– Great, great.
– [Brennan] That’s only an eight.
– [Brian] That’s only an eight.
So the dad looks out,
sees a barfing Crazy Craving.
– Yeah, I was really coughing
it up, just like (coughs)
a hairball.
– Three elf creatures trying to do
some sort of telekinetic thing,
and just a seven-foot, full-grown tiger.
– (booming laugh) I’m
gonna pick up a basketball
and just go, “You’ve
failed your children!”
– The dad looks out, and you
just see his eyes go wide
and go, “Beth, the cereal
monsters are back!”
Suddenly, a red siren alarm goes off
in one of the upper, the
second floor of the house.
Hurricane shutters go
down over the windows
and over the door.
And a…
What kind of thing would
they have on their lawn
that would prevent cereal characters?
– A turret?
– [Carolyn] Yeah, like a
fucking moat filled with milk.
‘Cause I feel like if
we get immersed in milk,
we’ll disintegrate and get soggy.
– [Brian] Yeah, that
is how that works now.
– I was thinking they got their sprinklers
shooting milk everywhere.
– Yeah, sprinklers shooting milk,
and then there’s a moat filled with milk.
– Which just, it’s like
something sinks down
and then fills with milk.
And then the sprinkler turrets
begin to fire milk everywhere.
They were ready for this.
– Shit.
– So now, drops of milk are
spilling all over the yard.
You guys are under fire.
What do you do?
– I get, like my back gets
hit with a bit of milk,
and this green smoke comes off,
and I emit this otherworldly howl
that is just piercing, like a bird falls
out of a tree, and then I still think,
so the hurricane shutters are down,
but I’m small, and my
size is hotly contested
and changes quite a lot.
What are my other modes that
I could probably get in there?
– Well, we could say
that all of this kind of
happened at once, and the shutters
are in the process of closing.
So if you wanted to shrink down and try to
get in there before.
– I wanna do that, but I
wanna slam into specifically
the window that the dad is looking out of,
and be holding the shutter open.
– [Carolyn] Yeah.
– Like trying to hold it open,
and just really staring
at him with my giant eyes.
– Okay, great.
– Snap, Crackle, and Pop
will be dodging very quickly
the drops of milk, and then we’re gonna go
in under Crazy Craving’s arms
and pop into the house.
– ‘Cause you’re so big and buff and strong
that I feel like if I
can hold the shutter open
long enough for you to get in there,
you could maybe stop it.
– [Carolyn] Yeah, for sure.
– Yeah, I can dig that.
Do you want me to throw some help to you
to keep that shutter open long enough,
or should I just go for the
window while you’re holding it?
– Throw some, like…
What do you mean, throw help?
– Like, if I roll some sixes
to try to aid you on your roll.
– Oh, no, I think I’m gonna go,
I’ll get the shutter, and if I must,
I’ll just simply plug it with my mass
and take the hit.
– Beautiful.
– And my internal organs, do I have them?
– Probably not.
– Yeah, all right.
Should I, what happens?
– Well, I think you should use
Honeycomb! Honeycomb! Honeycomb!
– That’s my weakest stat, how would I?
– [Brian] Yeah, God, Carolyn!
– [All] (laughing)
– I’m just gonna use
regular Honeycomb! for this.
– [Brian] Okay, great.
So you’re currently trying
to jump into the shutter?
– Yeah, ’cause I urgently
communicate this plan to you
with a curt “Honeycomb!”
And then I fire–
– Understood!
– I fire off anime-style,
blades of grass shooting,
for this window.
– Let’s go ahead
and make that a 10.
– Okay.
No.
– Uh-oh.
– [Eli] That is a seven.
Lucky number seven.
– So you manage to get there,
and you’re barely
holding on to the shutter
as it’s lowering.
However, you got hit with several
large blasts of milk, and I want you
to now remove one of your,
like, cross off one of your,
whatever the cliche you just used.
Honeycomb!?
So now you’re down to three for that one.
– Okay.
– All right.
– I’d say I’m invested
enough in the mission
that if I just need to shove my arm in and
just my arm is getting crushed,
that’s fine with me.
– Okay.
So it’s just, yeah, you
are in immense pain.
And you were also gonna try
to get over there before–
– Yeah, I would like
to, now having seen that
things are going pretty awry,
I would like to roll We
Don’t Talk About Pow,
and sort of go into
a fog of Rice Krispies,
and something unspeakable happens,
and then we find from that dark magic
a way to get in.
– [Brennan] Horrible memories
of fucking your brother to death.
– Let’s not forget that!
– “Indeed.”
– Let’s go ahead and
make that a 10 as well.
– All right.
And this is important.
We need to get in, so I’m gonna use
one of my Lucky Shots.
– Okay, great.
– Come on!
Oh, Goddammit.
– [Brian] Ooh, not quite.
So yeah, it’s one of the same,
I’m gonna have you mark off
We Don’t Talk About Pow.
That is really–
– Oh, one of the, I lose one of my dice?
– You lose one of those.
– Oh, shit.
– If you lose both,
you forget him forever.
– I’m okay with that.
– [All] (laughing)
– So it’s kind of the same situation,
just like, milk, milk, milk!
Green smoke blasting up, you’re beginning
to lose pieces of yourself, and–
– Just like a sound goes up,
(imitates snapping and crackling)
– But you make it over to the shutter.
So you guys are both trying the
to hold up the shutter for Tony.
And you can hear the
dad grabbing the kids,
like, “Get ’em out!
“Get ’em out!”
Tony, it all comes down to this.
If this goes bad–
– If this goes bad, it’s curtains.
Cool.
Well, if they’re holding
it up just slightly enough,
I’m just gonna go horizontal
and break through the window,
just charge into the kitchen.
And I’ll get my arms out to try
to grab these two on the way in, if I can.
Okay.
– Oh, right.
– Cool.
– I’ll do Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger!
– [Brian] Great.
– What’s the DC for that?
– [Brian] So I think what it’s gonna be,
it’s gonna be 10 to get in,
15 to get these guys with you safely.
– 10 to get in, 15 to get them safely.
I’ll burn a Lucky Shot
on this one as well.
– [Brian] Okay, great.
– May I borrow someone’s
d6, if that’s okay?
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
– Oh, no.
– [Brennan] Well, we’re in,
but I didn’t get you guys.
– [Carolyn] Holy shit.
– Okay.
So, Tony, you bust through the window,
and glass shatters.
The man screams, the
children are screaming
as they’re being brought
out of the kitchen
into possibly some sort
of panic room in the back.
Your allies are struggling with
this storm shutter, this
heavy storm shutter,
as it’s closing down on the window.
It’s possible, it’ll be possible
for them to get in, but there could be
some grievous damage if you guys fail.
You could get hurt.
You could be leaving
Tony in there by himself.
What do you guys do?
– Um.
– How am I in the window?
What’s pinching me and where?
– I’m picturing as Tony just dive-bombed
through the window, that really was
the last of your strength,
and now it’s barely
held up by your forearm.
– Which side of the window am I on?
– You tell me.
– I would throw your way, and
then you can say yes or no,
that my arm is stuck, I’m on the inside,
I will just shed that arm.
– [Brian] Okay, great!
– Like a lizard would.
– If you just wanna eat that
arm, you can just do that.
– Oh, yeah, I chew, you’re right.
I chew through my arm.
Yeah, that’s what I do.
I’m just gnashing away.
– You’re gonna get a Cereal
Purple Heart for this.
– Yeah, would it be,
what’s the purple cereal?
– [Brennan] Purple Berry Heart?
– Purple Berry Heart!
– [Eli and Carolyn] Oops, All Hearts!
Eyyy!
– Barely makes sense.
– Do you bleed?
– Oh, not in the way that
a human would describe it.
I think it’s just, I crumble a bit.
It’s weirdly crunchy, because
that’s one of the things,
is Honeycomb never gets soggy.
So it’s like crumby.
I’m losing crumbs and stuff.
I think I can maybe regrow it,
but I don’t know what that
would take in my lore.
– Yeah, we’ll have to, if–
– Yeah, it’s like crumbs, but
when they hit a surface,
they do dissolve into
an ichor sort of business.
– Beautiful.
Snap, Crackle, and Pop,
Crazy Craving is in.
You guys still on the outside.
– Yeah.
It’s not looking good.
– So, I think as three elf brothers,
sometimes you have to make a sacrifice.
If one of us gets
squished, I’m just saying,
that’s fucking fine.
I’m gonna roll 3 Elf Brothers.
– Okay.
I wanna get in.
I don’t want one of us to die,
but if one of us has to hold it up
and then slowly get accordioned in
and make a horrible noise
as they die, so be it.
– [Brian] With a five–
– [Eli] Make a snap, crackle,
and pop with your bones?
– Exactly.
– [Eli] Yes, okay.
– With a five, Snap gets in.
With a 10, Snap and Crackle get in.
With a 15, Snap, Crackle, and Pop get in.
– Okay.
Please, God, I’ve never
asked you for anything.
– [All] Oh!
– There is a God!
– So, it’s a close call.
Real dramatic, the music swells,
I picture Pop is beginning to shake
as he’s trying to hold it open.
It’s like, “Go!
“Go!”
– And then, at the last
minute, we’re all in,
and we’re like, “Brother.”
And then he’s like, “Brother!”
And then they both, they all get in.
And then they all have a group hug,
and they just put their
foreheads together,
like, “Brothers.”
– And it just slams down.
– [Carolyn] (imitates shutter slamming)
– I’d like also too, I’m
kind of just hissing,
and this black goo is
dripping from my severed arm.
I make my way over to
their fridge and open it.
Do they have any honey in their fridge?
Uh, yes, I would say
they have a very natural,
organic honey.
– Keep honey in the fridge?
– [Carolyn] That’s crazy.
– I would like to, you know,
if you like cold honey.
– You know what, Eli, that’s a good point,
and I’m sorry.
– “These freaks probably love cold honey!”
– “You deviants!”
It’s like hissing.
I’d like to chug the honey
in an attempt to regrow my arm.
– Okay, okay.
I’m gonna let you roll Honeycomb!
– Thank you, sure.
I don’t really want the arm back that bad,
so I’m not gonna use any
Lucky Shots or anything.
Oh, I’m only three.
– You know, you’re a god of chaos,
so I think a 10 would be pretty reasonable
to grow back your arm
by chugging cold honey.
– Okay.
– [All] Ooh!
– [Eli] 11, I get an extra finger.
– [All] (laughing)
– So as I’m just chugging honey,
you can see my throat moving,
and then this arm comes out,
and it is kind of honey-ish and sticky,
and then sheds off, like molts,
and I have my arm back.
– Beautiful.
Nature is beautiful.
– And in an ill-advised, still
trying to be a cereal mascot,
in an ill-advised way, I look at the kids
and pretend like it’s a
magic trick or something.
I’m like, (high-pitched groan)
– Screams!
So the house is now dark,
because all the sunlight has been cut off
by the storm shutters
hitting every single window,
way in and out, it seems.
The house is now dark,
and you’re not sure where the family is.
They are somewhere in this house.
What do you do?
You’re in the kitchen.
– Do we know the names
of the parents, or no?
– I believe they are just
Mr. and Mrs. Miller-Garlic.
– “Well, well, well, Miller-Garlics!
“You’ve elected the path of pain!
“This could’ve been a conversation,
“but you had to put up your walls,
“and now you’ve invited
us to bring them low!”
– [All] (laughing)
I think Tony’s gonna go to all fours,
and go, “There are ancient laws
“that govern this universe!
“You have selected the role of the hunted,
“and against my will,
I shall be your hunter.
“Breakfast, the most
important meal of the day!”
And Tony’s just, I’m
gonna start just prowling
the halls of the house.
– [All] (laughing)
– Go ahead and tell me
what you want to roll
to kinda scope out the house.
– I will do…
I’ll do Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger,
or maybe if I’m smelling them weirdly,
maybe I’ll do That Furry Thing on Twitter.
Do That Furry Thing on Twitter.
If any of you guys want to help me
with anything, I only
have one die on this roll.
– I will say it’s only a five.
– Only a five, gotcha.
– Are there any, I don’t know
how messy their house is.
Is there any sort of–
– Oh, it’s pristine.
Fuck, well, that’s not gonna help at all.
– [Carolyn] I would like to–
– [Brian] You could make a mess.
– I would like to use They Talk,
but in a way that is
relying on our mind powers.
Like they can talk to the universe.
And all three of us–
– As Rice Krispies do.
To sit in a little triangle
and commune,
and our eyes roll back in our head,
and just try and sense the presence
of the family, and the direction,
so we can give Tony, like
point him in the right way.
– [Brian] Great, great.
Go ahead and make that roll.
You can add any sixes,
which will actually
succeed the roll for Tony.
– Oh, cool, awesome.
– [Brian] But we don’t have any sixes,
but that’s okay.
– I can try to spook the family.
I assume they’re hiding,
’cause they’re in a horrific situation.
But I can just slam walls,
just kind of bouncing around
as Crazy Craving does.
Yeah, exactly, just slamming into a wall
and then listening for noise.
– As you do that, I’m just like,
“That’s right, Miller-Garlics!
“Your fear will betray you!
“I’ll hear your heart beating
“through the walls, faster and faster!”
– [All] (laughing)
Awesome.
I’m just gonna roll, just see how it goes.
One, terrible.
– Oh, no!
– Your hunting instincts are just shot.
– Well, they may just
be that good at hiding.
They were prepared for this.
– [Brennan] Gotcha.
– So, that’s when a door opens.
It creaks slowly.
Are you guys all together, or spread out
around the house currently?
– I think we were kind
of in the same-ish place.
– [Brian] Okay, so you’re
moving down a hallway together?
– [Eli] Methodically.
– [Brennan] Prowling, like, slowly.
– [Eli] “Sweep and
confirm,” whatever you say
in the fucking military.
– That’s when Mr. Miller-Garlic
steps out from behind you with a shotgun.
– [Carolyn] Oh, shit.
– “You’re gonna leave my
Goddamn house right now!
“We eat boring cereals here!
“There is no fun in this
house, and Goddamn it,
“there never will be!”
– Uh…
Well, I was gonna say, I fucking
would live and die for this fucking team.
I’ll try to tank it.
I just put the shotgun in my mouth.
I’m just gonna jump on it
and clamp my teeth around it.
– “Oh, Mr. Miller-Garlic,
do you think we fear death?”
– [Carolyn] We are death!
– [Brian] Do you want to–
– And I’m staring directly into his eyes,
and with my teeth tight on
the barrel of his shotgun,
I’m like, “Me want Honeycomb!”
– [All] (laughing)
– Okay, so I believe he’s
going to pull the trigger.
– I’d like to, while that’s happening,
I’d like to crawl up his pants
and try and bite his wiener.
– [All] (laughing)
– So, great.
We’ll deal with that in a second.
So, he’s gonna pull the trigger.
I’m gonna have you make
a roll of your choice,
and I wanna say it’s a roll of…
I wanna make it a 15.
15, you will survive this, no problem.
– I would say some of what I eat
never reaches my stomach because
I’m perpetually hungry, like a wendigo.
And so some of this could be sent
to whatever dimension what I eat is.
– Sure, but I think if you fail this roll,
I think Crazy Craving is going to explode
into little tiny chunks.
– Oh, God.
– And the curse will finally be over.
So it’s 15.
I’m gonna go ahead and
use Me Want Honeycomb!
– [Brian] A good choice.
I’ll use a lucky shot, too.
– If he explodes, is there
just like a Chris Evans looking guy
just naked on the floor,
being like “Where am I?”
– I think we’ll find out.
– [Eli] Oh, no, okay,
four of them are good.
What did I need, a 15?
– [Brian] Yeah, you’re more than good.
– Oh, I’ve already done
the math in my head.
You grow another extra finger.
– Why say it out loud?
– So, Mr. Miller-Garlic is like, “Ah, ah!”
And throws the gun down with Crazy Craving
latched on to–
– “That’s right, Mr. Miller-Garlic!
“You’re not a killer.”
– Yeah, and I just continue to eat the gun
until it’s all gone,
like (imitates gnawing)
– So Snap, Crackle, Pop, I believe
one of you was crawling
up Mr. Miller-Garlic’s leg
to bite his dick.
– Yes, that’s right,
that’s still happening.
I still want to do that to bring him low.
We’re going to, I’m gonna roll
We Don’t Talk About Pow,
’cause that seems appropriate.
– [Brian] Okay, okay.
– For unspeakable things.
So I only have one dice left in that.
– He’s pretty sufficiently
distracted by all of this,
so I’m gonna say it’s
a 10 to get up his leg
without him trying to kick you off.
– Can I try to do Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger?
I’m just gonna go hold him in place
to make Snap, Crackle,
and Pop’s job easier.
Amazing.
– Absolutely.
– So go ahead and roll
Grrrrrreat Buff Tiger,
you can add any sixes to Snap, Crackle–
– I’m gonna add a Lucky Shot to this, too,
’cause this is important.
– [Brennan] Oh, there’s two sixes there!
– [Carolyn] Oh!
– Baby.
– We’re biting his dick all the way off.
– You don’t even have to roll, you just–
– Amazing.
– So, just…
In a panic room down the hall, I believe–
– Is Jared Leto with cornrows.
– [All] (laughing)
Anybody else remember that movie?
Nobody else watched it, okay.
– No.
– That was a good joke, I liked it.
I believe we just cut
to Mrs. Miller-Garlic,
her two children, listening to the screams
of her husband as he’s held down
by a tiger and three elf
brothers bite his dick off.
– (imitates gnawing)
– So he’s just like, “Oh, God!
“Oh, God, I’m sorry!
“Anything you want, oh, God!”
– “It’s all right, Mr.
Miller-Garlic, go limp!
“You don’t have to fight anymore.
“Everything you’ve feared has happened.
“And now, your battle is over.
“Submit to death, and feel
“the numbing cold of sleep forever.”
– (whimpering)
– I think Tony’s gonna
stride away from this,
into the panic room, and say,
“Hello, kids!
“I’m your new father!”
– “Papa?”
– “That’s right!
“I’m your new father.
“Your old father has been mutilated
“by a trio of deviant elves.
“They’re filled the meat of his member
“that gave life to you.
“How does that make you feel?”
– “Not, not great.”
– “Oh, not great?”
– [All] (laughing)
I think Tony’s gonna kneel down
and touch both of the little kids
on the outside of their arm,
and he’s gonna say, “Well, I can tell you
“something about that.
“Before the beginning of time,
“beings full of malice and hatred
“were all that existed in a darkness
“vaster and more incomprehensible
“than our pitiful language can describe.
“Concepts that would shatter
“the mind of a mortal to behold.
“These gods want nothing more
“than for all to dissolve into chaos.
“The inevitable heat-death
of the universe,
“where the infinity between all molecules
“separates from any possible
cohesion or understanding.
“On our way to that utter oblivion,
“why not have some
sugary breakfast cereals?
“It doesn’t matter.
“These gods don’t care.
“They don’t see.
“They don’t love.
“They’re not good.
“They’re grrrrrreat!”
– And I believe that is when we cut to
a kitchen table,
a rotating shot of Frosted Flakes
with a bowl.
It’s like, “Frosted Flakes, part
“of a balanced breakfast!”
Cut.
– Yay!
– Guys, that was our
breakfast cereal mascot
role-playing game.
– It’s over?
– I think that’s it, man!
– We just got started!
– We’ll be meeting every week for–
– Man, that was…
Yikes!
Brennan, thank you so much for coming!
Yay!
– I had the best fucking time!
– That was unbelievable.
Thank you so much.
Hey, if you liked this
and you wanna see more,
and you have any ideas for something
that we could try and
turn into a tabletop game,
it can’t get any weirder than this.
Let us know in the comments,
let us know on the Discord,
or just hunt me down
in person like a tiger
and tell me what would be great.
We’ll catch you next time.
Whoo! (clapping)
– Good-bye.

47 comments

  1. Want to see more Brennan? HEAD TO THE OFFICIAL D20 Channel! [ http://bit.ly/2XU7qvw ] Subscribe and ring the bell to catch all new episodes and other surprises!

    DROPOUT.TV: No ads. No censors. Just funny. Join now. http://bit.ly/2P5bdOM

    Don't live in CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND or the U.S.? Sign up here: https://bit.ly/2OiNNoP

  2. (Looking at the thumbnail,)
    Everyone's here! We got Cap'n Crunch, Tony the Tiger… Uh, Cracked out Tazmanian Devil? Illusionist Faceless Mage from Yugioh…?

    … Oh no…

  3. I love this episode but two things I can't let slide:

    1. How can all of you handle or produce milk but dissipate upon it touching you unwarranted?

    2. How did no one say "YOU'RE GREAT!" when saying "you're more than good"?

  4. This was simultaneously horrifying, hilarious and breakfast cereal level addictive. We definitely need more of this! Maybe a prequel of Tony's dark past..?

  5. I guess you might do one where the Pokémon meet their Galarian Forms, like Weezing believing that the top it’s Galarian form’s head looks like a bong, or how Linoone is jealous that his Galarian form can evolve

  6. I first thought crazy craving was the dog or wolf from cookie crunch. I actually forgot honeycombs had a weird Tasmanian devil rip off as a mascot for awhile

  7. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. Truly a Grrrrreeeeaat way to traumatize youth in a way to make them accept how meaningless their lifes are

  8. I don't know why this has been stuck in my head: but a groundhog day rpg where everyone is Bill Murray trying to get to Feb 3rd

  9. This was insane and funny… though I feel like Snap, Crackle & Pop were a tad too unsettling for this :p

    How about you go Meta, and do a RPG… ABOUT MAKING an RPG game! Or selling them at a store? XD

  10. This was… disturbing.

    Tony is a religeous fanatic.
    Crazy Craving is an ancient forgotten god of chaos recreated by science.
    And lets not talk about Snap, Crackle and Pop… and especially not pow…

  11. You guys should do a roleplay about either Amalgam Comic characters, or characters from Marvel's Infinity Warps. Trust me, it would get very crazy quick

  12. Last episode Rachel mentions someone getting splashed with poop: "Oh no did I ruin the show"
    This Episode Carolyn confidently mentions how Snap Crackle and Pop literally fucked their brother to death

  13. I’ll admit it, I had to google Crazy Craving. He looks familiar….it’s entirely possible I had blocked him from memory….until now……Thanks Eli….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *