The Skinny Bitch Diet Menu (Hot Date)

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(CollegeHumor theme) (electric buzzing) – It’s like, I want to
order the Double Loaded Gut-Bomb Chili Cheese Fry Nachos, but– – We have a pool party
to go to after this. – I guess we could always order from the diet menu. (horror music) (up-tempo music) – Beyoncé doesn’t say that. – “If he liked it, he
should have put a platter “of grilled onion rings on it?” This is degrading. – A “Glamburger on a Tight
Bun” with a side of thighs? Jesus! – How are you supposed to
say any of this out loud to another human being? – Hey, gang! Are we ready? – Yes, I will have the… Chicken Slenders. – I’m sorry? – The chicken. – Ah, the Chicken Parm
or the Chicken Francese? – Uh, the, diet menu chicken. – Which one? – This one. – I’m sorry, don’t have my glasses. – Oh, okay, of course you don’t. The… Saucy Bossy Chicken Slenders. – On a Blamwich or as a Flauntrée? – A Flauntrée. – It doesn’t sound like you want it. – Excuse me? – If you want a Flauntrée, you have to flaunt it. – (sigh) I am the boss bitch and I demand
my Slenders as a Flauntrée, with the Fit Into My Little
Black Dress-ing on the side, sorry, not sorry! Is that good enough? – For you?
– I’ll just have a burger. – What? No! Did you hear what just
came out of my mouth? No, no, be a man and
order from the Bitch Menu! – Okay, um… I will have the Glamburger then. – What kind of cheese? – It would be the… Man, I Feel Like a… Wo-manchego… please?
– What was that? – Man, I Feel Like a Wo-manchego. – Oh… Sing it for me. – What?
– Sing it for me, you little slut. ♫ Man, I Feel Like a Wo-man… chego – Yeah, now tell me
how you want it cooked. – I don’t want to. – You have to tell me. I have to tell the chef. – Medium Fierce. – What kind of bun? – Holla Bread. – What kind of bun?! – I want it on Holla Bread, girrrrl! – (crying) – Good boy. Do you know why you’re crying? ’cause you’re a fat boy, not a fit boy. You wanna be a fit boy, don’t ya? Say it to me. – I’m a fat boy and I
wanna be a fit boy, sir. – [Waiter] Shake your fat boy tits for me. – Don’t do it.
– Shut up. Yeah, yeah. Good, good, good. I’ll get you guys some water! – What’s up, the world? From award-holders Murph and Emily comes a new web series called Hot Date. – That’s right, it’s gonna
be coming to you weekly, and if we play our cards right, maybe we’ll actually win one of these. – Yes, these are other people’s– – These are other people’s.
– But… We’re holding them, so, who’s the real winner?

100 comments

  1. I think it's hilarious how they just deal with this weird sadistic waiter but it also would have been hilarious if they called out the management about being degraded trying to order off the diet menu and the manager asked what exacty they ordered
    Like the cable company bit in South Park.

  2. Food: the language of the mouth. Gods of Food, available now on DROPOUT! http://bit.ly/2YGpZ6K

    Don't live in CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND or the U.S.? Sign up here: https://bit.ly/2OiNNoP

  3. It's been almost 3 years. I need these 3 characters to have a movie. 50 Shades of Waiting. It's actually Grant's restaurant (he's a secret billionaire) and this is how he gets his kicks…but there's just something about Murph & Emily he can't seem to get out of his head…

  4. “How is anyone supposed to say any of this out loud to another human being?”
    grant appears
    “Oh good it’s not another human being”

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