O Kebab Português

Posted by


calm down mauro we have arrived in Portugal my god I love a good Quim Barreiros lets continue our jorney to Almada mauro lets go then Mauro this isn’t Almada sorry master, I turned off the gps Mauro, Mauro, you are always a stupid shit head, take us back to Almada you fat horse Mauro, what is this? we aren’t in Almada for sure yes we are master, but it looks like the city was taken over by the swaggers oh my god Mauro, we have to save the citizens *Speaking in chav* oh but what is this? don’t get tricked by this…, this…, this criminals Mauro *speaking chav* join us *speaking chav* Mauro, they only want you for your body don’t be tricked by this criminals they love me master they like my thingy thingys oh my god Mauro is already starting to get infected I have to take him to Maria as fast as possible (fast as fuck boiii) what do you want Maria, I need your help Mauro is starting to speak “swagger” and what do I have to do with that? if Mauro turns into a swagger, Almada will forever be property of the DK I will help you, but with a condition you have to use a uniform and beat the shit out of those crabs You’ve got yourself a deal Congratulations you defeated the crabs thanks now save my friend No ok see ya tomorrow oh, Maria, I have something to tell you and what do you have to say? *Kachows* Mauro listen to me I have to go look for a cure but don’t worry you won’t turn into a swagger *speaking chav* *speaking even more chav* *speaking chav* I have finally arrived Hello my name is Francisco de Las Tortillas Hello Chico do you want to make a band with me? yes nig nogs oh my god we are making a lot of money if we continue making this much money I will have enough money to buy a cure for Mauro well well well, what do we have here my niggers, you’re all under arrest you motherfuckers Save me Save me MTV cribs, welcome to my house this is my basement, kitchen,bathroom,dining room,slave cave, and where I spend most of my time my crib is always filled of fun (whores) I hope that you enjoyed, and remember, tony carreira is the answer to every problem but what is this? my dear shrimp Mauro was attacked by swaggers, a type of hipsters that dress badly and listen to some weird shit But it wasn’t those monsters that attacked you, you were attacked by some type of eraser that can teleport, I don’t fucking know Can you turn off the fucking music? thanks and what am I doing here? I saved you before the eraser could blow your head like he did to your friend Now you’re in my crib don’t move a lot, me and the rest of the survivors fucked you in the ass last night while you were unconscious I didn’t even know the human being could do that, Jorge yhea, Jorge you gotta teach me that trick of putting two in your mouth at the same time how the fuck are you not paraplegic? thanks but wait, if this is a virus that means there’s a cure of course there’s a cure but we have to steal it but you need to rest what I need is for you go to fuck yourself my camel is turning into one of those things and I wont stand around doing nothing alright is that what you want? then here’s the plan *unkown* did you understand? yes but who will do that suicidal plan? I will go fuck yourself look at yourself, you’re fucking retarded, no one likes you Hey shrimp don’t talk to the kid like that do you think you have what it takes to do this? YES We accept you soldier but you have to promise that you will only comeback when you find the cure or something useful fire in the asshole *laugh track* “where is the cure?” *more laugh tracks* “I don’t see it here, I’m gonna look outside” *seinfield theme* “I think im in the wrong place” *seinfield the + a shitload of laugh tracks* what is this? lets get the fuck out of here, KACHOW sir, we have the DNA of Salazar Good, good, now we just have to find a body that can handle the transformation, I think I know the right guy then I said, ok see ya later then I killed the bit- hey claus, did you get the cure No but I found something that will help us find it, remember being attacked an eraser? he’s the one that is behind the swag virus the virus that turned your friend into a criminal I found a sample of the virus you want to make a cure out of the virus? you’re very smart you stupid fuck no, I have an idea, but someone will have to be sacrificed I vote on you I vote on you I vote on you I also will vote on you do you really want me to die? *sarcasm* NOOO Of course not we just think that you’re the only qualified person for this job yes, exactly what Jorge said if thats the case, the plan is as following seems fair *speaking chav* release me from this cage *speaking chav* No in Maria’s house there was Tony Carreira’s musica playing lets see if it works oh my god its working turn the volume up it worked fuck yhea cunt, we finally have a chance against those fucking swaggers Friends, get ready, we are going to do a concert in Almada the plan is as following to cure all of Almada we have to seperate Mobster-Shrimp you go to the south side of the map I did swaggers will see what is a good fucking music that’s the spirit Claus you go to the north side The rest of you go to Peace Park and get divided I will be in charge of curing Mauro This is a great fucking plan Jorge, great Tony only him to save our asses I know I know *Vietnam Flashbacks* Friends, good luck to you all, and if we die today remember atleast in heaven there isn’t shitty music if there’s any problem we have this undetectable devices that records us in 1080p at 60 fps lets go to war alright guys get ready its time for pimba I’ll go find Mauro convert the swaggers and get the pimba back to Almada Mauro my nigga Jorge? *speaking chav* how’s it going Mauro, talk to me normally I know you’re still there you’re right master, I’m still here but I don’t have control I can stop the virus but only for a short period of time I can’t take this anymore Jorge sorry Mauro what are you going to do? Goodbye Jorge See you later, alligator *kills himself in chav* Rawr motherfucker

3 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *