Having a Healthy Relationship With Food – Mind Over Munch Kickstart 2016

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Hi friends! If you have been following the
kickstart serious than you know that this month we are focusing on our
redefine health campaign and I couldn’t let this series happen without having a
video where we talked about having a healthy relationship with food. Because
that is in a lot of ways just as important as what food you choose to eat.
So what is a healthy or unhealthy relationship with food? It’s gonna differ a
little bit for everyone just like our healthy relationships in life will differ. Let’s touch on 3 bigger themes
that I have personally experienced to contribute to an unhealthy relationship
with food. There are many other points so feel free to tactfully add your food for
thought in the comments below. So first up is feeling anxious or guilty
about eating or going out to eat. This is super common. Anyone who has ever been on
a diet has probably felt this. If you’ve ever tracked your macros you’ve probably
felt this. Going out to eat can be stressful. We’re trying to be good and
then we go out to eat we either feel obligated to enjoy a salad that we don’t
want or we feel like we can’t enjoy the burger that we do want or we feel the
pressure that others are going to judge us for our decisions or choices. Oh she’s
eating something healthy today or oh she’s gonna eat something terrible
that’s just so bad for you. Isn’t that just the worst? Feeling like we have to defend
ourselves and our choices there’s so much negativity and anxiety and it’s just
easier to not go out to eat and that is so unfortunate because going out to eat
is great it can be fun and enjoyable and delicious. But it doesn’t have to mean
ordering the most healthy or the least healthy item on the menu every time. So
just like any relationship it’s about compromise. Sometimes we can allow
ourselves a little bit more if we want than others, and compromise is ok. So next up is
thinking that there are good and bad foods. We are all on a journey and at some point
most of us feel we’ve learned that these foods are good and these foods are bad.
But this is a pretty destructive idea Once I was able to accept that food is
food there are some foods that are better fuel from my body and some foods
that aren’t without the stigma of them being good and bad. I was really able to
let myself not feel that anxiety or guilt so much. It’s more about acceptance
and giving yourself permission to enjoy those foods that aren’t fuel on
occasion but also recognizing that they aren’t fuel and not being dishonest with
yourself. And the third point is the feeling that food gives us control. So
this is the root of so many eating disorders. Whether it’s related to under
eating or overheating it is so easy to turn to food for control. The truth is
once we start trying to control our food too much it can start to control us. So
that’s when we start to feel like we can’t go out to eat or we can’t enjoy dessert
ever or unless we are counting our calories. Sometimes we let ourselves indulge
and then we feel like we lost control when that happen and we try to make up for it
by eating less or maybe we give into feeling awful about ourselves and then we eat more. This is dangerous territory although not
uncommon. Being aware of your diet and lifestyle and being concerned with the
food you put your body is one thing but letting it control your life and
lifestyle is another and those are just some of the main themes that I came up
with when I wrote out a list of things that I’ve struggled with when it comes
to food. There are many other points we could go on about emotional eating, comfort eating, dieting, overthinking food, it can go on and
on but those are just the 3 that I thought kind of umbrellaed over everything
else. If you feel like you’re struggling with any of these issues or others
you’re not alone. I encourage you to share them with someone you trust find a community whether it’s here, a
group of friends, family, where you can work through some of these things because
support will make all the difference and at the same time don’t freak out if you
watched this and thought ‘oh my god that’s me what do I do now?’ because the truth is
these are all parts of the journey. Coming from where a lot of us have come culturally,
how we’ve eaten our whole lives, how we’ve been educated or not educated about food and
nutrition, we really all have to learn on our own and it’s normal to go through
some of these thoughts and stages. But if you feel like they’re starting to
consume your life maybe it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate. What can
you do to start focusing on that healthy relationship with food and learn as much
as you can about food and nutrition and what feels right with your body. For me
personally that meant stopping counting my macros, stopping counting calories. It
was to consuming for me. It might not be the case for everyone but once I stopped
worrying about those numbers and started thinking about you know the colors of my
food and where the ingredients come from and what they were doing for my
body. Once I started thinking I wanted to fuel my body and not just give it a
number of calories my mentality started to shift and it’s a process and it’s still happening. The journey doesn’t end but as you learn
more and you get smarter you’ll feel more confident in that relationship. If you
feel like you’ve gone on a journey of finding that healthy relationship with
food please share some of the tips of what helped you along the way in the
comments because you could really help someone else who is going through right now.
I hope you enjoyed this type of video. If you did and you want more chats like this
please give it a thumbs up and don’t forget to tag me on social and tell me
what being healthy means to you. Don’t forget to use the tag #redefinehealth
there is no wrong answer and of course remember it’s all a matter of Mind Over
Munch.

100 comments

  1. I'm working on not using food to make me feel better. Whenever I had a bad day I always just wanted to pig out. I never paid attention to how much I was actually eating. I now am stopping myself because eating isn't going to make the problem go away but talking to someone could help. Just yesterday someone brought donuts to work and I felt soooo guilty about wanting one because I've been so good with trying to get healthy then I told myself "it's a donut! You know you're not going to eat 10 of them, you know it's a treat. Enjoy it and stop over thinking it!" I did enjoy it. I think if I didn't let myself have that then I would have just went overboard later with alot of junk. Thank you for always being there. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others.

  2. My personal experience and advise: Until now, I have never had a healthy relationship with food. When I was young, I didn't care about what I eat or filing my body. Practically everything I eat was greasy, un-colorful and unhealthy food. But when I turned 14 and developed a terrible eating disorder that made me over obsessed with what I eat and the calories I consumed. Im happy to say, I have now found my middle ground. My relationship with food is still a work in progress, but my advise is educate yourself about food, have fun learning new things on how to make your body function at its best potential! Make your food look appetizer and beautiful, after all, we eat with our eyes:) So, good luck to anyone out there still finding their path, we all really are, and what I love about this channel is all the viewers are here to support each other. <3

  3. thank you for this! I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos about health and what healthy food should be like in their opinion but after I watch all those videos, I feel like YOU are the one that gets what's really going on with our relationship with food. People on social media is just TOO obsessed with food while, like you said, food is just food. There's no bad or good food. To eat food mindfully, not dieting for the sake of getting skinny but to think about what's the benefits of the food we put in our body is a way more respectful way of respecting our food and the way we eat. I really gotta stop watching all this food related videos and documentary and start focusing on other hobbies.

  4. My problem comes from my loved ones. They don't know how many things contain gluten, so they cook for me and want me to eat their stuff. Many have MSG or the like, so I politely decline but they get very upset. So, I eat it a lot of times then pay the price. Or they buy me gluten-free versions of processed foods and expect me to eat it. Well, I'm weening myself off of most processed foods so it's a challenge. How do we cope with loved ones wanting to help when they're not really helping?

  5. Love your Channel, it really helps people to find a better way to live! All the best for you, hope to watch you every day 😀. Regards from Colombia

  6. This is an incredible video, Alyssia. You have such passion in you to help and educate people and I very much admire and thank you for that. You #redefinehealth and help the rest of us do the same.
    Personally, I struggle with all three of these problems, and several others, and have since childhood. As a young child I wanted to be a chef. I loved food. Not actually eating, but the smells, the variety, the process of cooking an incredible meal to share with people. I still love all of those things but years of self-destructive behaviors caused me to go from one side of the spectrum(eating very unhealthy foods often, binge and purging, not eating until I would faint) to the other(raw veganism, vegetarianism, and severely constricted diets over about 5 years). After so many problems for so long, I started hating food and demeaning myself if I ate more than a single apple or carrot in a day. It was very unhealthy and while I've mostly moved away from that mindset and have transitioned into thinking of food as a way to fuel my and my daughter's healthy lifestyles, there are still many days when I skip meals or get upset about eating out or eat foods I dont want out of simple guilt and fear of judgement.
    There are so many things in this world that affect our lives but food, one of the few really necessary things we need as humans, can have so much power over us. I very much applaud your approach to health and fitness and thank you, again, for the effort and thought you put into every one of your videos and posts.

  7. I have been logging on my fitness pal for 20 days straight so far trying to make sure i don't eat less or more calories/macros and i feel like its stressful. I want to stop logging but if I do I am afraid I will eat too little or too much and not lose weight 🙁 ps I hate the scale! It changes a lot.

  8. I'm in that kind of journey… I used to have an eating disorder and then started counting my macros to be "healthy" but it was soooo time consuming and terrible that I stopped doing that… Now I'm vegetarian, and basicly I'm just listening to my body, if I'm hungry or not and in weekends I do eat junky food or sweets… It is not about not eating anything "bad" but it is about balance… I have gained a little bit of weight during this time and I'm sometimes disturbed about it but I know that as soon as I learn how to listen my body properly I would go back into a healthy weight while feeling great and free

  9. The best thing I ever did was throw my scales out. I would weigh myself before and after every meal. I ended up bulimic with anorexic tendencies. At the very peak of my illness I had decided that everything but soy milk and water was bad (because I could drink a little of each to survive but not gain weight). Throwing out the scales/tape measure got me to re evaluate what was important – a number on a scale or my health. It has really changed my relationship with food and for anyone that is struggling – I highly recommend it!

  10. I totally relate to this. I have the worst relationship with food, pretty much for my whole life I've struggled finding the right balance. I don't know if anyone else can relate to this but food is something that is constantly on my mind weather I'm eating all the nutritious foods for my body or not. Food controls me. I actually love filling my body with all of the colourful foods but as soon as I allow myself one treat I then spiral out of control and one treat turns into a completely unhealthy week. I suffer with boardom eating and emotional eating. Are their any tips or advice anyone can give so that food doesn't control my life?

    Thank you x

  11. You are such a great role model! I have been watching your videos for 2 years now and you have made such a positive change in my life. Thank you!

  12. I still see food as calories, even if I don't count calories anymore. Like, I like to eat raw fruits for breakfast, but I often think how many calories in fruits I eat in total are and worried about it, then I would decrease the quantity of some fruits like banana or apple, and ended up really hungry hours before lunch. Weird even though my calories calculators in my brain and my app (I still count calories only to know the estimated calories for a recipe) tell me I should be able to not eat anything until noon (around 400-500 calories). It's probably has to do with the macros, but this happens a lot, I hope it stops…

  13. I DO feel anxious and guilty about eating out, cause just like you said, you're just on your way to create heathy habits and then you go out with friends and you have to start over, I know that's not true, but it feels so, and it's a very bad feeling.. Everytime I eat something I shouldn't be eating I get dissapointed about myself and the goal to get that fit body and healthy lifestyle becomes more and more unreachable. Your video was great and you pointed out the very things I think a lot of us is dealing with. I do want to start a good relationship with food and love my body no matter what!

  14. For me it was a matter of learning quality over quantity. That I could still eat all of the things I loved, and that portion control was key. It's not about what's going into your mouth as much as it is about how much to me. When you can learn to appreciate the taste and savor it, you realize you don't need to fill up your plate to enjoy it. I agree 100% that the journey never really ends… but it's a wonderful journey that I am glad to embark on with everyone else 🙂

  15. This is all spot on. This is why I've stopped counting calories, and focus more on trying to include more nutritious, whole foods in my diet, and still letting myself eat out on occasions! Once you become healthy, your body will adjust and burn any of those occasional fatty foods we all like to devour sometimes!

  16. I agree – too many people define themselves when it comes to their food choices. Its as if they label themselves with how they eat or wear it as a badge. I have been raised to love and enjoy healthy foods, if I order salad, its not because I think I need to, its because I love salads! (who said salads are the healthiest anyways? most restaurant salads can pack as many calories and fat than the other entrees without modifications). My body feels better and runs better when I nourish it with the best quality foods, which is why I crave them. I have plenty of friends who order whatever they want when they go out either because they could care less about the nutrition facts or they theyve been craving that particular item – life is TOO SHORT to deny yourself. It does not define who you are or whether you're a good or bad person, and those who judge other based on the food they eat need to get a hobby 🙂 there is no such thing as "eating perfect" or having the "perfect diet", you know what's perfection? dessert,

  17. I personally have the best relationship with food right now that I've had my whole life. I feel so good and have lost 24 pounds since the fall. I even manage to loose over Christmas and thanksgiving without having to avoid anything. It's still a journey though finding that balance between letting myself enjoy a treat and not letting myself over indulge.

  18. Unfortunately, I think that most women these days have had a complicated and problematic relationship with food. I feel like everyone I know has struggled with this issue. This video was very inspiring and I really like the idea of thinking of our relationship with food as any kind of relationship; it's a matter of balance, energy, learning, giving & taking and compromising. Thanks for another great video!

  19. My relationship with food shifts a lot. I used to not worry about the calories of food before, now that I have a food scale, I basically won't eat anything unless I'm assured that it's 3oz of meat or 59g of bread or 3oz of pasta or one cup of soy milk/orange juice. I remember that I used to eat giant potatoes and enjoyed it, now I restrain from eating one if it's 400g big (which is the size I used to eat in one sitting)

  20. I work with people who are seriously struggling with eating disorders, and as someone who is overweight myself as well, this video spoke to me on so many levels! Thank you for always being to incredibly informative and relateable!

  21. I love that you call eating healthy a journey. SOO many people want to go 100% whole foods (or whatever) overnight. It DOES NOT work that way! I started eliminating one thing at a time and then a month or two later I eliminated something else. You have to get comfortable with that first elimination first! If not you get overwhelmed and 9 out of 10 times fail. Going clean is an education. You have to start researching recipes and products to find out how you can enjoy that first elimination and this NEW lifestyle! You did very good talking about good and bad foods as well. I still think gluten free pasta is HORRIBLE just because it's highly processed. You're right it does still contain SOME nutrition! Thank you for that! 🙂

  22. I had a very bad relationship with food. I am in recovery from an eating disorder that is known as OSFED (Otherwise Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder) under the DSM-V, some people might know it as EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) from pre DSM-V. Or, more coloquially know, feast and famine. I would essentially starve myself most of the week, probably eating like a meal a day or something, and obsessing over calories and ammounts of food. Then on the weekends, my nutritionally deprived mind and body would take over from me and I would binge, binge, binge! Often bingeing on one specific very high fat thing.

    I was vegetarian for 3.5 years, but my absolute worst and lowest year of my life was 2013, the year I ate meat again. My crvaings and binges would get so bad that I would CRY if I didn't get the binge item I craved and wanted. I would spend my weekends crying in my room because I was either eating or not eating what I wanted. It was not good.

    But in early 2014 I got some help from a counsellor, doctor, and dietician at my universities health centre. These three women helped me find some things out: I had an unhealthy relationship with food, I have what is known as "fatty liver" because of these high-fat binge sessions, I had high-end-of-normal cholesterol levels, and we figured out that I'm allergic to Casein and whey (the proteins in Dairy). It was suggested by my doctor that I go onto a "plant based" diet.

    I went vegan and it along with conscious eating have been my saviour when it comes to my new-found healthy relationship with food. I no longer feel guilt at eating another living being, and I now eat so many more whole fruits and veggies. And now, at 23, I am the healthiest I have been my entire life.

  23. I lost 8 kilos by counting calories, eating more fruits and veggies and avoiding processed food… at some point I felt I had to stop counting, it was getting me stressed and my mood was not so good, now I am still eating healthy (or at least I think lol) but I just eat until I feel satisfied (not full), I guess counting calories helped me to have an idea of what a portion means and how to avoid eating excessively like I used to… I still have a hard time eating around my family since they feel I should eat like them and I know this way of eating has improved my health in general… I would appreciate if they could give fruits and veggies a try!

  24. MORE chats like these YES! This video is really awesome and it made me really look at how I see food. Again….wonderful vid cuz I like that it makes me think about things and really examine myself. You're so awesome and helpful! 👍🏽

  25. I LOVED THIS VIDEO FROM START TO FINISH!! thank you just thank you! btw I also loved the music – would you mind letting me know what's the title?:) oh and have I said that already: thank you!

  26. I'm a bulimic (recovering but still). I'm in a process of healing my relationship with food.
    I've recently created an axis and asked myself honestly where am I from 1 to 10. And after good level of thinking I decided that I'm, surprise, surprise, 6.5. Quite high! It's been a long fight for my mental and physical health. I've always lived in some sort of a contrary. I know I deserve happiness and health but then I had not much power to fight for it despite the obstacle (and sometimes people). I could do it on my own but it would take much longer. My girlfriend has been a great support for me all along. This one person, reminding you that you are a beautiful, valuable person makes a great change.

  27. I used to have anorexia and even when everyone considered me 'recovered' simply because i seemed to eat, I still ate very small meals because I thought it would be enough and this often led to bingeing. Over summer I did the vegan lifestyle RawTill4 where you eat excess calories, they recommend 3000. As a 5'3 girl this was obviously too much but it helped me get used to eating bigger meals. Now I think I'm able to find a happy medium 🙂

  28. I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with food. And worst part is that I have known this since a long time and still, I'm like, "Who gives a damn!". :p

  29. having quite bad chronic fatigue over the past few months has made this alot harder to achieve. especially as i have to be mindful of what i'm eating and making sure i'm eating enough especially on days when i want to sleep all day and i feel better when i eat better… but now i feel like i am using food to feel more in control of my life which i dont have alot of control over, this isn't too bad when i'm at where i have a fair amount of control over my diet but where it became a problem was when i went to visit my boyfriends family for the weekend i was not in control over what i ate and thats when i realised this was becoming a problem

  30. Just wanted to say I LOVE your channel! This year I've been trying to create a healthy relationship with food, for myself, but also because I don't want food/health/weight to be big issues for my children. Your channel has been life changing! Never before have I felt like I could create a "diet" for myself and stick to it, but I really feel like I'm doing it! I love your approach to food. Already I feel like my four year old is picking up on it as I talk about about my food as fuel or not fuel. So, thank you! You're awesome!

  31. Wow. Just a big thank you. I've suffer of anorexia for two long years and it was awful. Now I'm still fragile and cannot eat whatever I want and still control what I eat. I'm from Quebec so I'm sorry if I'm making some mistakes hihi. But just wanted to say that I really love and enjoy your channel xxx

  32. I write my food down. Every day. I kind of have to. I definitely see this as part of the 'control' part that you were talking about but when I don't write it down I do tend to binge. I've been doing it for so many years now and I feel it keeps me in check to stop my binging. I don't have the best relationship with food but I am absolutely trying my hardest. It's definitely more difficult when you have a partner who eats whatever he wants and still looks good too. Gahh!

  33. Recently I've been having a bad relationship with food. I have been thinking about food 24/7, and I don't know why. I think it's because for some reason I feel hungry so often, even after eating a meal. Does anyone know why this could be? Also, I think I have hypoglycemia (self diagnosed so I'm not sure if that's an accurate claim) so sometimes when my blood sugar gets low, I absolutely NEED to eat foods high in sugar. Most of the foods around me that are high in sugar also happen to be high in calories (and obviously high in sugar), so I feel guilty whenever that happens even though it's a problem I have little control over. I'm trying to improve these thoughts.

  34. I used to be in the habit of asking for a box when a meal arrived and putting half of the meal in the box before I started eating. I need to get back in that habit.

  35. i definitely turned to food as control last year as i was traveling, being in a strange place with people i didn't really know made me unconsciously anxious even though i was having a great time! i started restricting what i was eating more and more to gain a sense of normalcy, and though after coming home it has been easier, its a hard mentality to drop! thank you for making this video and starting a conversation about our relationships with food!! it is a very serious and prevalent problem that often goes unaddressed, so thank you for allowing us to talk about it openly and begin to grow our understanding!!

  36. Hi, I want to stop weighing myself but i found it so hard to stop doing it… I am afraid that I will gain weight. I come from a past of eating too little and losing my period. I HAVE to eat enough to get it back you know, so I don't want to step on the scale and think: oh I gained a lot, now I am fat and need to starve myself. My body NEEDS the food, that is the reason why I want to stop weighing myself… How did you stop? I hope you answer :(…

  37. This is so incredibly helpful. I myself have always had a tumultuous relationship with food. If I eat too many pieces of celery, I feel just as bad if I were to eat too many pieces of cake. You're absolutely right, you have to find what works for you. It's all a journey. Thank you <3

  38. Do you have an Aldi where you are from? It's basically like a trader joes I believe. Just wondering if you have ever tried their food and "fit and active" brands. I would love to see a review on it!❤️

  39. hello, i just want to thank you for this video, it gave me a new perspective to look from. i've been struggling with weight issues since i was a child, and only last year i started to eat healthier – you know, w/o any specific diet menu, just significantly less carbs than i usually take and managed to lose 100kgs in less than a year. however, now i feel like i'm stuck and starting to revert back to eating instant noodles and stuff. and when i do i get swallowed by extreme guilt that it is bad for me and i cant look at myself in the mirror without noticing the fats. i am now looking for options to base my diet on and this video is very interesting. maybe i should try counting colors, not calories too!

  40. I'm in the modelling industry and that's been really tough to deal with as your measurements and size impact you booking jobs. I had some crazy diet from one agent that was basically veggies and chicken breast and it was sad, I was counting calories and I was maybe eating 1000 a day while working out. And my measurments didn't budge but I was miserable. So I took a break where there were fewer limits. I still tried to eat healthy but dammit if I wanted cupcakes I was having one or pasta or rice and so many other things that I hadn't allowed myself And then gradually I've moved back towards a more balanced approach. Different kinds of protein. Fruits that I enjoy and healthy carbs like brown rice and oats and sweet potatoes. I do still sometimes get really stressed out when going out to eat or in big group situations with food as I want to eat healthy but there's often foods I really enjoy. I'm getting to the point where my relationship with food is healed.

  41. I've developed an unhealthy relationship with food since I was diagnosed with a chronic disease. This disease forced me to be fed through IV tubes for months and during that period I was literally dreaming of eating all kind of stuff. When I got better I started to overeating and to indulge too much in fried food, desserts, processed meats, just because I thought I had to "seize the day" and eat those things when I could, since it was very likely that I was going to be IV fed again soon. After a lot of years, I still struggle to redefine this relationship. Sometimes I eat super healthy (considering that because of my disease I can't eat a lot of veggies or legumes it's kinda difficult but I manage) sometimes I just eat crap and then I feel guilty about it because I feel physically bad. I really don't know what do to, but I know I have to find a path that doesn't involve me being scared of being once again deprived of eating. Sigh.

  42. I know this video was posted a while ago, but I just want to say that point 3 is absolutely right. I'm struggling with recovering from an eating disorder right now, and it's so difficult for me to get back in a healthy mindset with food. This video is really helping me. ❤️

  43. Your video prompted a tome. If you read the entire thing, I salute you.

    At 55 I only now feel as if I've acquired a healthy relationship with food. I grew up without . . . ha! Was just about to type moderation then remembered your rant. I grew up without limits. I weaned myself–at 3. Mm hm. I was alone a lot as a child so I ate without permission (not defying, I just didn't need to ask, my parents weren't like that) ate whatever sounded good–plus meals Mom or Dad prepared or bought. Early on I learned that food comforted me. Food calmed me. Food tasted good. Food satisfied on more than one level. And, eating was something to do when I was bored.

    As I hit my teens and early 20s, all those previous learning were still in play plus a few newer ones. Food was pleasing to all the senses. Food was a means of bonding with someone. Social gatherings must always have food. Feeding someone was love. Not the only way to show love, but one of my go-to things to ask someone I cared about was "Are you hungry? Can I fix you something?" And finally, when in my 30s or so, and considering that I might just have a food addiction, I knew I couldn't conveniently just quit the means of my addiction. Unlike an alcoholic who could live without alcohol, I needed to eat to live. Conundrum. Or so I thought.

    Added to this multi-leveled, problematic, and (most of it anyway) skewed thinking was the reality of my metabolism. I was born hypothyroid. I was also born big. A 10-lb baby. I gained weight easily and quickly. By the time I was 5, I weighed 72 pounds–about forty more pounds than other children in Kindergarten. So food wasn't just all those things I already mentioned, food was also shame, was also punishment, was also guilt. Because I was obese. All my life. And that wasn't popular. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't desirable. (Though I later learned that wasn't exactly true.) It was, however, a medical condition that could have been treated in childhood. Except at the time (I was 10 or 11) the pediatrician told my mother than yes, he could put me on medicine and I'd lose weight, but soon I'd be discovering boys and the weight will just come off.

    -_-

    In any case it took decades and a lot of life lessons before I was finally successful at re-training my head, re-defining terms, and learning to recognize when I was emotionally hungry versus physically hungry. I didn't just change, though. I ought to have changed. I was intelligent and aware. I was also morbidly obese. Last time I weighed myself during that era I was 310 and I know I got even heavier than that. Even then I wasn't motivated to change. I was stuck in habits and old learning. I had no sense of limit. I was active, well, not sporty but I moved around well and gracefully. And I didn't see myself as an overeater. I was never one of those people who ate a loaf of bread plus a dozen eggs and a package of bacon for breakfast. I ate normal portions. For an American. I was so big, though.

    I remember sitting in the living room in the house I shared with my brother and his high school friend this was 1995. I was 32 and at my top weight. I was sitting in a chair in the living room and I became aware that I wasn't aware of my body. I had no sense of my edges, no sens of my the exterior of my trunk. I felt amorphous. It was disquieting. I was changed through circumstance.

    Around the time I turned 40 and developed a type of tachyarrhythmia. Not dangerous (I later had a battery of tests all showing my heart was/is healthy.) Sometimes my heart would flutter in my chest. Other times it would give a single heavy thud. Concerned me, but I didn't make changes. Later that summer, for some reason, I lost my appetite. For weeks just wasn't hungry. I barely ate. I lost like 20 or so pounds, I liked it. Felt like a good start. Like an opportunity. So I kept going by counting calories. Old school. Solid mathematical equation. I learned terms like BMI, BNR, and satiety index. Lost 70 something pounds over six months.

    Hadn't really dealt with any of the emotional stuff though nor was I necessarily eating healthfully. Just less. Well, I had three years before stopped eating meat but that was about it for alteration. Wasn't until 2007. I'd been taking thyroid meds for about 15 years and by then was also on meds for cholesterol and blood pressure. Summer of '07 I was diagnosed Type II diabetic. I learned about nutrition and carbs, about how the body dealt with glucose and how different kinds of carbs were processed in the body.

    I still relapsed. Twice I'd lost a lot of weight only to gain a lot of it back. Well three times counting that spring of 1976 on Weight Watchers. In any case real change didn't start until 2010 when diagnosed (after two years of symptoms) with gastroparesis. Then I was forced to change what I ate, when I ate, and how much I ate. I also started working on the emotional side of eating. Been honing that since. I'm now 174 and eat healthfully. Not with the education level you have which is impressive as hell. Really, kudos!

    Ack it's late. I didn't intend to relay a testimonial. Your video topic just opened me up and once started I needed to finish. Thanks for your time and effort put into these videos. I am learning a lot and enjoying them SO much!

  44. So nice to hear someone say they don't count calories. I have tried so many times but it's always been an obsessive behavior. I have been working on being healthier by focusing on the quality of my food. Am I getting enough fiber? protein (etc etc…) vs. Does this have too much? The mental shift has been so helpful for me.

  45. As someone who's struggled with anorexia in the past, this video spoke to me so much. I definitely used food as a way to control what was around me, as I also struggle with depression. It was a way for me to cope when I had such poor self-esteem and didn't know how to cope with the emotions I was feeling, or rather, the emptiness I was feeling. I had to reevaluate how I viewed food. I went from viewing food as a chore or a plague that made my body unappealing or fat, to viewing my food as a resource for my body and as a way to respect my body. I had to change a lot of other very unhealthy mindsets I had to, but this was definitely a major one.
    If you're struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating (excessive restriction of calories or excessive overconsumption of calories, and/or purging), I encourage you to get help from a doctor, nutritionist or counselor, and to surround yourself with encouraging, loving people that want to you be healthy and happy. It saved and enriched my life. There is always another day to be happy and healthy if you want and choose to, and it's a journey we all have to take.
    <3 much love

  46. I have such a hard time staying on track. The beginning of February I was so proud of myself working out regularly. Not over doing it of course but being active and eating right. I fell off beginning of March and I've written down on my calendar to start again and that was 2 weeks ago. I'm trying to find that balance… I have already made some of your recipes and I love them. I think I found this channel at a good time. It's what I needed. I'm trying my best and thanks for this Alyssia. 🙂

  47. Thank you for doing this. There's so much noise about what to eat, that I think a lot of the message about how to eat well (in so many senses of the word) gets lost.

  48. YES THE JUDGEMENT IS REAL! My Polish friends around me always are scoffing at me when I'm turning down noodles, rice, and reasserting no sugar while I'm on my HFLC adjustment period especially. They say, "Once in a while is ok to have some chips" they don't understand the point of getting to Ketosis or that there is an adjustment period.. and they will say this two days in a row. I"ll ask, "If I ate the chips yesterday, you still would say that and it's 2 days in a row.. that's not once in awhile"
    So it's a bit of a pain to not be taken seriously.. but they're not hitting their goals, so maybe they will be convinced I'm not crazy when I do haha. They look at me like I'm nuts when I say I'm trying to lose weight but I'm buying bacon and cooking with butter.

  49. I know no one will see this comment but I'm only 13 and I'm trying to lose weight… I know I don't have to because I'm not unhealthy or very overweight it's just that I do gymnastics and we were leotards which don't cover much and I want to feel better about myself in one. I have lost a total of 12 pounds so far and have 13 more to reach my goal but I can't stop thinking about food and calories. It's all I think about and I always feel guilty when I eat even if it's just a fruit or something small. The part I hate the most is I find myself looking at what other people are eating and judging them for it which I hate doing but I just can't stop myself. I'm just confused and need help on how to stop worrying about what I eat and to stop thinking about calories and feeling guilty. I just want a healthy relationship with food again but anything I try never seems to work. So if anyone saw this comment if would mean so much if u replied.

  50. I have been counting my calories since November but its so stressful and I can't stop because of the weight loss. I just think about all the calorie count and it has definitely made me feel so empty and depressed but having come across your channel , I think I definitely will try harder to stop counting calories and instead try proportional sizes more. Thank you! For all the videos you make. I now have some place to go to look through healthier meal options than worry about calories.

  51. I am recently new to your channel and I must say I am so glad I found you. I won't bore you with the details, but basically over the past year or so I have realized how extremely unhealthy my relationship with food has become. I've been dieting on and off for the past 5 years yet nothing seems to work or last. I'm tired of feeling defeated and like a failure. I am now starting to do research on how I can change that relationship into a more productive and healthy one. No one should have to live this way. Thank you for being so informative, down to earth, and REAL. It's hard to come by nowadays. Much love from a new subscriber! <3

  52. I'm new to your channel, but I'm so glad I found this video. I'm constantly working on my relationship with food over the past 2 years. One of the biggest things that helped me was to look toward health and not focus on weight loss. I have cycled through diets all my life trying to achieve a beauty standard and acceptance I felt I did not receive because of how I looked. It's a horrible mental game that made things worse for me overall and it was never truly for me. It was always about trying to fit a standard. When I let that go and focused on how I could feel and be better physically and mentally it lead me on a path to healing. It allowed me the opportunity to explore how food made me feel and experiment which diets never allowed. I was able to find out what foods fuel and nourish me and what foods drain me. It also helped normalize food for me. Sometimes I eat for fuel and sometimes I eat for pleasure both are a-OK. That's life and that's all normal. It's being able to recognize and be intentional about my choices rather than mindless which has been most beneficial for me. I really appreciate this video and your thoughts on this topic.

  53. Sometimes I treat myself to a glazed donut (which are da bomb), I always feel guilty even though it won't ruin my progress. Lately I've been telling myself, that I need to be happy and healthy. A balance of both!

  54. UGH. I have started to workout and eat healthier, but now i'm always worried about what I eat and that if i eat some or if i dont eat the right stuff or if I stop working out i'll lose my six pack or my muscles

  55. Yep, it's hard when invited for dinner with family and they don't understand why I take smaller portions or refuse to go over for dinner.

  56. My relationship with food has been very complicated recently. For the past few months, my knee has been injured and I have been unable to workout. After months of physical therapy, it is not getting much better and I don't think I will be able to work out for at least several more months. So I have been obsessed with limiting my calories to ensure that I don't gain too much weight. This is really hard and I would love to have a healthy relationship with food, plus I miss working out so much.

  57. I've been subscribed for a while and yet I have never found this video. Thank you so much for making it! I've been trying especially hard this summer to start living healthier and part of that involved counting macros, micros and calories. These things have their uses, but I always felt so guilty and anxious if I went over by even 100 calories and that was awful.

    It was useful to learn more about serving sizes as well as what foods provide which nutrients and vitamins, but now I'm really going to try and stop. I'm going to try new goals such as having a veggie with every meal, trying some vegan and vegetarian meals more often, being active in my daily life as well as my workouts, and NOT feeling guilty that I go out to eat and have a few drinks with friends once a week. Your recipes have been amazingly helpful (especially your 2 ingredient pizza crust and mac & cheese, which are two of my favorite foods)! Thank you so much for your channel, it is always informative and awesome!

  58. I've been a real victim to binge eating throughout my preteen years and into my early teens. It was mostly due to struggles in accepting myself as a person worthy of respect. I'm 16 now, and things have gotten better ever since high school started. I have the motivation to work on my physical health now that I've reached a mental state where I understand myself better. As a result, I can organize a diet for me that will be sustainable into the future both for my enjoyment and my health. When I was more afraid of who I was, I resorted to dieting in order to help me gain confidence. Let's just say I resorted to binge eating again a while later. One crucial lesson I learned from this was that you will not learn to love yourself from dieting. You need to evaluate how people have treated you, who you are, and who you want to be in order to love yourself. Now, after this first diet, I tried again the beginning of sophomore year. It didn't work out because of schoolwork and high anxiety levels. One lesson I learned from this – deal with one battle at a time. If you don't feel ready for a diet because of life circumstances, wait it out until you're emotionally comfortable. But don't make excuses either! You know the difference. Throughout my journey until now, I've faced conflict with eating out and calorie counting. Let me make this crystal clear. DO NOT COUNT CALORIC INTAKE PER DAY!!!! All it did for me was stress me out in the end. It's always fun at first, until you have cheat meals where you can't count calories. All I ever did was worry about losing the weight. One thing that helped me get over anxiety when going out to eat was working out. I could eat heavy meals knowing some of the protein would build up my muscle mass and exercise my metabolism. For anyone who actually read this, good luck on your journey and please be more concerned about taking care of yourself instead of what you want to look like!

  59. I’m mainly vegan (except eggs) and I count my macros to see if I’m getting enough protein. I track my food through Fitbit, and it also shows my caloric intake and output which has really taken over me. I want to stop, but I can’t. Please help

  60. I always eat as much as I want 😊 And also what I want. I never felt guilty ✌ The only "diet" I ever mDe was when I recognised that I eat a lot of sweets and then I decided to substitute those sweets with veggies or fruits 😊🍎🍌🍇 Yummy 😋

  61. Body awareness is key for me. It's been a long journey from being raised on an awful diet, disordered eating, health issues etc. Slowly but surely I've learned to listen to my body and take guilt out of the equation. Here's to a healthy 95% whole foods diet and no counting calories!

  62. "We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are." — Adelle Davis.

  63. When you start to feel proud for eating low calorie or not eating for a long time you might just have a poor relationship with food.

  64. This is a kinda old video but I'm trying to find a healthy relationship and not feel guilty for eating something "bad" food is food. I love the statement that there are foods that will fuel us and others that won't. I hope that throughout my journey I can find a healthy relationship with food. Thanks for the vid and I love this channel!

  65. I have learned so many things about eating (almost) correctly and choosing healthy foods since I discovered your channel! About one year ago I decided to start eating healthier and to “clean” my lifestyle. Since then, I found a lot of information and it is very hard for me to keep everything in mind. I also found terms or words that I didn’t know what was referring to. I’m still confused in what concerns certain aspects and I haven’t discovered yet what works for me, how should I organize my diet in order to remain how I am now (I lost some kilograms and I don’t want them back 🤤), but I have learned so many things. My diet isn’t entirely healthy and I think I’m not planning to have a totally healthy diet, because some snacks and desserts are just to delicious 😋, but I try to avoid most unhealthy products, to replace some of my snacks with healthier choices etc. Your channel is the most helpful, friendly and well documented of all! I’m so excited that I discovered this channel! 😆 I admire you and your work!!! 💜 Thanks for everything you are doing! 😄

    P.S. I’m sorry if I spelled wrong some words or if my topic wasn’t correct, but I’m not an American or a British person and my learning is in progress 😁😁

  66. I’m a little late to this I know but I’m kind of recovering from an unhealthy relationship with food and the advice that I’d give to any1 is don’t socially exclude yourself it’s just going to make u miserable and rlly feel cut off from any1 and every1

  67. You're the best. Literally, the best. You make me feel good again…actually kinda tearing up as I watch this. Thank you <3

  68. A healthy relationship with food I have had is similar to Alyssia. Focus on Fuel. I have discovered the best fuel for my body is more fat and protein (I am far from a me to diet btw dunks head into bowl of rice ) but I do knnow that when I cut out "good fats" and eat more carbs (even the good kind), I would binge face does not come up from rice bowl and gain weight because carbs doesn't fuel me (give me energy and saitate me) like fat and protein did.
    And now when I binge face falling into mound of mango rice I know that I am not eating for fuel and that is okay. As long as I mostly eat for fuel, my body will be okay with it and not blow up like a balloon just b/c I want some dessert.

    * I don't remember if this was me a year ago or if this will be my relationship with food in the future but it is what it is today.

  69. I know this was posted 2 years ago, but I just came across it. These were exactly the words that I needed to hear right now as I am struggling to change my family's way of thinking about food so that we can all improve our health. It's under uphill battle, but your recipes and ideas are helping. Thank you for your videos! ❤️

  70. I was an emotional eater.also a comfort eater.I’m trying to get better I didn’t really have a “meal” since a cup of plain rice doesnt really count as a meal.I had a bad relationship with snacks though.I’m trying to keep my meals slightly more balanced and healthy.and I know that I cant stop having snacks completely.so I usually have a carrot or a cup of yoghurt instead of biscuits or potato chips.by the way,I’m allergic to chocolate.So its not a thing for me 😂.I still have a struggle about drinking water,not kidding I drink about a half cup of water or less!I’m gonna go drink a cup of water!😂😂😂

  71. I know the last comment was 3 years ago, but I just watched this and loved it. I have been on a 2-year journey to learn that my food addiction was just that. The biggest thing that helped me was therapy, to find out that I am a valuable person, that I am WORTH putting good food in my body. I am worthy of doing the best I can to be the best I can be. That has made all the difference. Once I started truly caring about myself and seeing my value, I craved good fuel and understood that I wasn't a failure when I did eat the occasional chip. I now am able to have good food in my house and treats.

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